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Your Viral Video Shouldn’t Be a Commercial (Celebrity Apprentice Lesson)

ByNalts

Perhaps you watched Celebrity Apprentice last night, where the b-listers teamed up to create a “viral” video for O-Cedar’s ProMist Spray Mop. Note that I put “viral” in quotes since it’s not a viral video unless it goes viral. For that matter, let’s call it what it is: try-ral. It’s trying. It may go viral,…

Most Unusual Commercials: Cuban Gynecologist & AutoSalesman

ByNalts

I’d buy a bag full o’ shit if Rhett and Link were promoting it. They are probably the best creative duo for online-video promotions, and I’ve written about many of their promotions, from Butterfinger to Alka Seltzer. Perhaps their weirdest campaign, “I Love Local Commercials,” has the comedic pair bringing life to an otherwise boring…

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Viral Video Special Effects Guru

ByNalts

As the plot continues in the GooTubeConspiracy, I needed to “fake my own death to throw off my stalkers.” So I called the viral video special-effects guru, Davideo Design. If you haven’t seen Pepsi Mentos Girl, then drop what you’re doing and visit his site immediately. Disturbing, funny and compelling content. Here’s Davideo’s page on…

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Online-Video Marketing for Small Businesses

ByNalts

How can a small company take advantage of this bountiful new online-video market? They can personalize their offering, increase reach, optimize search-engine rankings, and target with greater precision. While few startups will “go viral,” entrepreneurs have a competitive advantage in their flexibility and agility. Without large bureaucracies or expensive agencies, a smaller business can leave out…

What’s Engagement Anyway? Forrester’s Four I’s

ByNalts

Engagement is the new “portal.” It’s tossed around so much, we have varying definitions. I use it broadly to refer to any action on the part of the media “consumer.” If they watch my video, that’s kinda engagement, but if they comment, respond, follow a link, purchase a product… that’s far more interesting. Here’s Forrester’s…

10 Comments

  1. That was so deep… I’m going to go make my own work of art. It’s brown and bigger than a dot… the canvas is a white porcelain bowl.

  9. Thanks, Onmyphone. 🙂

    Ahem. Okay. My turn.

    Anniversary
    (A true story)
    by Marquisdejolie

    On the anniversary of your return
    to this toxically antiseptic purebred mongrel aluminum-sided
    country of ingeniously lobotomized pastel-colored Greed clones,
    You decided IT.

    With the high infidelity-travelling worst class religious
    three-piece suit disguised mind masturbating fascists
    and their herpes infected quiche-eating debutante consorts
    scavenging through your pockets,
    And their by-product puke-haired sexless New Wave psuedo intellectual
    soda pop sophisticate sons and daughters
    with THEIR neo-liberal arts concept of cheaply-paid-for individualism media broadcast through your sensibilities,
    And the tired Catholic recalibrations of politically expediant
    mass market tested logical positivist back door morality
    shorting out your heart and brain,
    And brother veterans’ ceaseless whining to and panhandling from
    the guiltless ridden draft-deferred de rigueured shame accountants
    embarrassing you to your patriotic core,
    IT decided YOU.

    With ALL decided,
    you stepped into your over-mortgaged
    imitation life father knows best den,
    sat in your favorite recovered lumpy
    hand-me-down Gerber-stained lounge chair,
    put the barrel of your NRA approved
    Brazilian-made blue metal .38 in your mouth,
    cocked the hammer,
    and fired.

    In cold October.
    I miss you.
    And now,
    my Octobers
    are colder.

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