Woah. This Wall Street Journal (a print newspaper based in New York City) is coming dangerously close to my “beat” today. They’re clearly running online video stories to see if they can steal from the rapidly growing readership of “Will Video for Food.”

I may not be as classy, accurate, easy-to-read or comprehensive. But I’m free’er. And no black stains on your fingers when you’re done with me.

Here are some stories from today’s Journal alone. Can you tell that some editor threw a sugar-induced tantrum in late December and told everyone he needed more “new media” stories in January?

“People I don’t care what’s happening at GM or Baghdad,” he screamed with sweat dripping from his nostrils. “I want more news about those talkies kids are e-mailing to the world wide web.”

• B4: “MySpace Filmmakers to Get Shot at an Emmy” by Emily Steel. “Anyone with an Internet connection,” leads Steel. “Can have a shot at the gold-plated statuette.” I’ll leave it at that.
• B1: “New Deals Aim to Put the TV Into Internet TV” by Brooks Barnes, Peter Grant and Robert Guth (no wonder- they have three people working on just one piece). Bottom line- Nickelodian will put SpongeBob on your television and bypass your angry cable provider.
• B1: “Yahoo Goes Mobile” by Kevin Delaney.” Yahoo is hoping “Go” program will make mobile searches suck less.
• B5: “Sling Media Device Shares Videos Around the Home” by Don Clark.
• B5: “New Dolby TV Feature Aims to Level the Volume” by Don Clark (the editor must have yelled at Clark twice).
• B4: “P&G Plunges Into Social Networking.” Suzanne Vranica. “The 18- to-49 core of the demo is not going to want to sift through some of the garbage on YouTube to find some inspirational videos,” says Scott Moore, head of news and information for Yahoo Media Group.

Hey, Scott. I resent that. I am responsible for some of that YouTube garbage.