If you’ve worn out Kevin MacLeod’s Incompetech, but looking for free, royalty-free music here’s a new alternative… some dark, intense, orchestral and dramatic options. Check ‘em out: http://www.jewelbeat.com/

Also a bunch more courtesy of YouTube’s BattlefieldDoktor via JourneysofLifeBooks:

http://ccmixter.org (click here to search royalty-free for commercial use tunes)
http://incompetech.com
http://freepd.com
http://www.jamendo.com
http://soundsnap.com
http://theslip.nin.com/
http://www.dance-industries.com
http://www.tbtmusic.com
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/
http://www.audionautix.com
http://www.music4yourvids.co.uk
http://www.nathanwillsmusic.com

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Why are the ladies so busy on social media (see clip below) but not much on watching online videos? I have some theories but they’re crap. If you don’t share yours, I’ll not only share my crap theories I’ll make up fake facts to substantiate them.

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Boring People Suck

July 22, 2010

Boring people suck. I’m going to put that on a t-shirt to prove I thought of it.

If you don’t provide a funny comment below than you’re boring and you suck. Mind you that it would be better to try to be funny and fail than not to try again. I came up with that one too.

It’s best to stay away from anything about the cat. She’s just there for the amateurs, and we both know you’re better than that.

Before this blog post is over I’m going to provide more original thoughts and quips than Yogi Bear.

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Thumbs up to these gals for their amateur but brilliant Katie Perry satire of California Girls. It’s “Staten Island Girls,” and deliciously skanky and humorous depiction of New Jersey.

Just 5 years ago these gals would have been able to share this with their friends, but now the whole world gets to giggle. Oh wait. Five years ago Katie Perry wasn’t a household name, and these girls were probably playing with Strawberry Shortcake dolls.

My favorite two moments? The gardner hiding his face (criminal record?) and the gas station guy getting caught staring at the booty.

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When I see my sweet AdAge pour more gas on the “Old-Spice goes viral” story, I feel like it’s time to remind my fellow marketers that they’ve got a better shot of developing (the shirtless actor) Isaiah Mustafa‘s abs than getting their TV or online-video spot viral.

Your man will never look like me, and your video will never go as viral.

This is another excellent example of the exception not the rule. Old-Spice’s dramatization is funny, slick, self-deprecating and memorable. Like other viral commercials, it stands out. It’s worthy of the 5 plus million views. But remember that people as obscure as me (nalts) with smaller audiences than me can fetch that each month. The one-hit wonder has given way to the webstars that are now building sustainable audiences, and they’ll promote your brand for less than it cost to groom Isaiah’s horse.

Now ask your friends and family to tell you the last time they sent or received a link to a commercial. Not your buds in the agency and marketing circles, but your friend next door that doesn’t understand what the hell you do for a living.

Television ads occasionally go viral, but viral is largely dead. We’re still seeing some twitches from the corpse, but the age of viral commercials will not see a resurgence. If you don’t believe me, read Beyond Viral when it comes out in a month or so (it’s already on Amazon, so I have bragging rights on that).

Maybe after a few more Benson & Hedges and my pension, I'll hear this damned machine's alarm. Wait, never mind. I sold my hearing aid for my third Scotch.

Now you read this, but like an elderly, smoking woman in Vegas, you’ll still play the odds. That’s fine. Just don’t bet the farm, eh? And hedge the bet- step away from the roulette table now and then and try the nickel slots.

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iPhone4G Press Conference Parody

July 16, 2010

Oh hush. What it lacks in humor it makes up for in timeliness. Let’s see you put an iPhone4G in your butt for the Internet. Or drive into the backyard of some crazy person so you can get near a cell phone tower. My favorite quote of Steve Jobs: .55 percent of iPhone4G users complained. [...]

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Online-Video to Marketers: Lighten Up, Francis!

July 16, 2010

In one of the more memorable moments of the incredibly quotable Stripes, a new recruit warns his fellow troupe: “The name’s Francis Sawyer… but everybody calls me psycho… any of you call me Francis I’ll kill you.” The drill sergeant’s response: “lighten up, Francis” (see video). “Lighten up” was one of the pieces of advice in a [...]

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Vidcon 2010 – Nalts Speaks

July 14, 2010

Nalts at Vidcon 2010 cutesy of stalkerofnalts

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YouTube & Video Gathering (VidCon2010) Is SXSW of Online Video

July 9, 2010

VidCon2010, which begins today, is already shaping up to be the South by Southwest (SXSW) of online video. The event, organized by Nerdfighter Hank Green, has attracted hundreds to LA today and tomorrow to discuss online video and meet fellow online-video creators and webstars. Here’s my video of some morning activities, and I hope to [...]

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Online Video Media Buying Best Practices

July 7, 2010

Looking for best-practices and tips for buying online-video advertising? ScanScout’s Jason Krebs provides tips and tricks for verifying your online-video advertising spend in Daisy Whitney’s New Media Minute. He tells us how to buy by “cost per engagement” and to ensuring that we receive accurate reporting on our spend.

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