Best Retarded Christmas Video Ever! Smile With Ponceman!
Folks, I’m going to tell you something. If this video doesn’t go “viral” I’m not just murdering the word viral. I’m declaring Christmas spirit dead forever.
Ponce, best known for The Retarded Policeman, has produced a “Smile the World” video that might very well be the finest Christmas song since “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.” And certainly the finest Christmas video since, well, “Christmas Vacation.”
I love this song, because it’s a wonderful medley of rock, humor and sincerity. The tweens will love the twang. The adolescents will dig the sexual references. The older dudes will adore the throw-back to glam rock. But most importantly, I am sad for anyone that looks at this with disdain because Ponce is retarded — and assume it’s exploitation. To me, this video reminds us that our mental and physical limitations are trumped by spirit. And the Perry brothers, dear reader, have spirit. I’ve met Ponce, and I can tell you that smile is as real as smiles get.
After you get lost in the song, check out Ponce’s YouTube channel and Ponceman website, or perhaps send the love of Ponce to someone with these free, touching holiday cards.
This is produced by Scott Allen Perry (THESAP) and his brother Josh Perry (PONCEMAN). You’ll see the brother’s parents and sister in the video — a full, family affair. Dirty Jenny performed guitar on the roof.
You can also watch Ponce beat his elf bag here.
P.S. Double click the video to open YouTube, and treat yourself to full HD for this. It’s a visual masterpiece in addition to an earworm. A tribute to Glam Rock and, as its description boasts, “oozes yummy juice from every sonic pore.” And click “more” below for lyrics. You should sing along. It will reduce stress.
Lyrics: Select “more”
HAVE A SEXY PONCEMAN X-MAS, FEED THE WORLD A SMILE
SHAVE A LITTLE BABY, ACT LIKE GIRLS GONE WILD.
HAVE A SEXY PONCEMAN X-MAS, SUNSHINE ALL YOUR CARES
RECYCLE CANS AND BOTTLES IN YOUR UNDERWEAR
HAVE A SEXY PONCEMAN X-MAS, DANCE A BUTTERFLY
WASH A HOMELESS PERSON, LICK YOUR BEST FRIENDS EYE
HAVE A SEXY PONCEMAN X-MAS, SING IT LOUD AND CLEAR
BRAID YOUR ARMPIT HAIR, GERBIL… RICHARD GERE
SANTAS COMING X-MAS EVE… BUT PONCEMANS HERE ALL YEAR
HES GOT LOVE FOR YOU AND ME
HELL SHAKE THAT PONGO FOR YOU LIKE AN ANGEL FROM ABOVE
PONCEMANS X-MAS WISH IS WE ALL GET SOME PONCEMAN LOVE
HAVE A SEXY PONCEMAN X-MAS, MAKE LOVE EVERYDAY
DO IT TO YOUR BEST FRIEND, OR WITH YOUR OWN GENITALS PLAY
HAVE A SEXY PONCEMAN X-MAS, RAINBOW TILL YOU GRIN
CHANGE AN OLD MANS DIAPERS WHEN HE FILLS UP HIS DEPENDS
HAVE A SEXY PONCEMAN X-MAS, JIGGLE ALL YOUR FAT
GIVE YOUR MOM A CLOTHESPIN, SPAY YOUR NEIGHBORS CAT
HAVE A SEXY PONCEMAN X-MAS, FEED THE WORLD A SMILE
AND IF YOURE SUICIDAL, MAKE SURE YOU GO OUT IN STYLE
AND WE CAN…
SMILE THE WORLD, WE CAN ALL SMILE THE WORLD
WE CAN ALL SMILE THE WORLD ALL OVER THE WORLD
(REPEAT)
It warms the cockles of your heart. Who wants eggnog?
The SomeCallMeJim Christmas special goes online later today. I was going to do it sooner, but I put the “pro” in procrastinate.
I love that retard. Seriously, he brings so much joy to me.
That, and watch my SHOW? Christmas special tonight @ 7pm EST @ http://blogtv.com/people/petercoffin
It’s an “I’m a whore” Christmas!
Yeah that was pretty good… except for that weird guy running around in pink lacy stuff! (just kidding there) A couple other really good Xmas song/videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exi8vnYfcr4 (channeIreview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oi_HDTfeCRA (fatblueman)
Hard not to say something nice, I guess, seeing Nalts frolicking like a fairy was funny, but the RP is just not my style, something must be wrong with me.
While Nalts celebrates a rockin’ guitar on rooftops dreaming of mayonnaise and riding a hard bike I choose grocery shopping and alien probs while naively waiting for the mass destruction and an end of the world as we know it [click]
So unlike last year, where we were in complete unison with You Tube Suckage; the stars must be out of alignment, we split on this years fav end of the year You Tube video.
Well, there’s always next year.
@3
I thought that video was hilarious. But then, I think most of DCLuigi’s stuff is worth watching.
What I’m REALLY in the mood for is A Charlie Brown Christmas, however. But that’s just me 🙂
@4
yes, A Charlie Brown Christmas. That would be most excellent.
I like butter. Merry Christmas!
http://www.webcastr.com/videos/informational/how-to-know-when-its-time-to-quit-your-job.html
@5 here ya go!
@7 everyone thinks they’re the only ones who feel that way about their job, that’s why no one says anything; the down side of narcissism. Americans could have anything they want, they just don’t want much of anything.
^ But the up side of narcissism, we get to see their grinning faces (in closeup) every day or so on YouTube.
^ excluding yours of course (snicker)
I take it back, it’s Christmas!
Good Tidings Y’al
[click]
Hey- I can’t find those little up arrows on my mac keyboard.
^ You have no shift6 on your keyboard?
@10
Out of my last 100 videos, you see my face about 4 or 5 times. Check it out at:
youtube
google
wat.tv
metacafe
livevideo.com
streetfire.net
teachertube.com
video.msn.com
vidilife.com
megavideo.com
sevenload.com
myspace.com
monkeysee.com
stupidvideos.com
howcast.com
yikers.com
blip.tv
gametrailers.com
myvideo.de
vimeo.com
brightcove.tv
traileraddict.com
vidivodo.com
gofish.com
guba.com
revver.com
abcnews.go.com
videodetective
godtube.com
liveleak.com
izlesene.com
dailymotion
veoh.com
koreus.com
break.com
localfile
v.youku.com
glumbert.com
movieweb.com
gamespot
kewego
cnn
foxnews
reuters
g4tv
cnet
espn
rockstargames.com
nfl
crunchyroll
video.yahoo.com
@10
Ah yes, Christmas: bonus time for CEOs. Doesn’t it warm your cockels?
http://www.break.com/usercontent/2008/12/Do-They-Know-It-s-Christmas-2008-CEO-Remix-622865.html
@13
I wish I’d thought of that!
^ Do your own version. Send me a small pirated ideas finder’s fee. You can PayPal it (click).
🙂