I’m such a damned moron. I got swept away in the nauseating stench of iPhone hype and bought the damned thing. Mind you this happened a few years ago, but I returned it and dropped AT&T early enough to not pay the penalty (but only after making this parody).
But now I’m this chick below (see parody video). Defying all logic because I want to suck on the Apple/Mac nipple just a bit more.
Sure there are a few things I dig about the iPhone that don’t suck: being able to easily shoot, edit and upload videos is nice. Facetime is a damned joke, though. About as useful as the three used printers in my garage.
Yeah- I can’t say my life has improved a lot with this overpriced fashion accessory that has doomed me to AT&T’s shitty coverage (we cover 97% of Americans is the most misleading advertising statement of the decade). And now I’ve got a brand new used Palm Pre that’s probably got no resale value… not to mention some horrible cancellation penalty from Verizon that’s soon to arrive. And I kinda liked the little Palm Pre. The keyboard sucked after using Blackberry for a decade (how about those arrogant idiots sleeping through the smart phone revolution because they had business people hostage). The Palm Pre was always hot as a summer driveway, but it created a mobile wifi hotspot for my other devices and laptops. And it somehow seamlessly imported all of my contacts, which is something my iPhone can’t seem to manage. Plus I miss that mother-fing back swipe. And I think I bought 150 songs via Amazon that are lost inside this device, which is doomed to the drawer full of obsolete devices next to 2 Blackberrys. Also…. miss…. having…. calls… that… don’t… drop. But Verizon’s logo always bothered me.