10 Decent Reasons Online Video Ads ‘r Recession Resistant

Oh shut up about the stupid recession, you big whiner. I’m sick of hearing about it — and just because it’s an economic depression doesn’t mean we all have to get clinically depressed.  

Seriously. You’re beginning to sound like that annoying friend who’s always complaining about health problems… The co-worker or neighbor who doesn’t know that the only right answer to “how are you?” is “fine.”

Yes, online advertising is soft. But here are 10 plus reasons online-video will survive and thrive. Read these because I had to think so hard for some of them that I popped one of my 87 remaining brain cells. The statistics, of course, are 97% made up.

Send these to your boss, customers, clients and peers. Or print them and shove ’em up someone’s profusely pessimistic discard hole. Yeah you heard me.

  1. The audience is rapidly growing and ads work 41% better better if they reach people.
  2. The niche content provides better targeting (than 84% of non targeted spending). 
  3. The cost of entry is cheap (unless you piss away $250K on a bunch of “viral video Hail Mary’s” that you post on that micro site… equivalent to a billboard in your basement).
  4. Amateur creators have huge audiences, and are hungry. They’re also really connected with audiences and influential. Your banner ad isn’t as lucky.
  5. I like to eat stamp collections but not collectors.
  6. Video is 93% more visceral and memorable than even rich-media. If I remember your product I’m 29% less likely to forget about it and not buy it.
  7. I was fooling around with features on my YouTube channel, and decided to make my account invisible because I feel like it. That’s a sidebar.
  8. Brands will need recession-proof innovation… instead of interruption ads, they’ll partner with creators who already have huge audiences, and get great deals. Add up the top few dozen YouTube stars and you’ll find they get more daily views than many of the media sites combined. Shoot I get around 100,000 viewers a day and I suck the funny right out of the web.
  9. There is no reason 9 or 13. There’s a 33% chance you won’t notice that because you’re scanning.
  10. Brand leaders will still want to innovate (73% more than the control, which included that fat guy you work with that twitches out about “process” whenever he hears about change). Grant, they will be 41% more selective than this year and 88% than during The Bubble. So dump the stupid unscalable crap (like another useless Facebook widgets and those pitiful Second Life pilots). They’re like the PR people during layoffs. They’ll be first to go.
  11. People still need customers or sales tend to go down by 29% or more.
  12. Because I said so, and I’m a viral video genius. Check Wikipedia if you don’t believe me. There’s a 51% chance you’ve never heard of Wikipedia.

20 Replies to “10 Decent Reasons Online Video Ads ‘r Recession Resistant”

  1. There’s a 15% chance that I may be 87% likely to believe in 42.7% of 7 of those 13 reasons. If we take that and adjust for inflation and the drop in the housing sector times the percentage drop of my 401K. It spells the message, “go make another video before I grasshopper and let me live in my altered state of consciousness for 3 minutes and occasionally forget about the world all together.” Weird isn’t it? I’m sure thats 100% pro-bull.

  2. @6

    What it all comes down to is that there needs to be at least a 76% increase of video output if we want at least a 45% in attitudes around here. Yeah, that does sound like a bad investment up front, but you’ve got to note that it also has a 68% chance of a 55% increase in viewers. Combine that with an overall reduced effort of 38-44% per video due to an increased creativity level of 19%, and you’ve got… um…I don’t know what you’ve got. None of that makes sense.

  3. What’s the matter kevin? Are you finally beginning to realize that the secret is nothing but a big fat smelly bag of horseshit? Feeling bad about all those hours you spent on the road listening to it and sending urgent telepathic messages to the universe begging for escape, only to regain consciousness every morning at 8 am in the same damn parking spot at that same damn company you work for but so desperately want to escape?

    Testy breeds testy. Actually, technically, testes breed testes or ovaries. Ha ha ha. That’s the best I can do right now given that you’ve sucked the funny right out of me.

  4. There was an old man who opened a Hot Dog Stand at a young age and had raised two children putting them both through college.

    His youngest a Marketing Major was visiting his Dad, he noticed his Dad was advertising in the local paper, and had signs on every street corner directing traffic to his SPECIAL of the DAY! 2 for 1 Hot Dogs!

    He asked his Dad “How can you afford to advertise, and give away you’re hot dogs, Dad, we are in a recession!” So, the old man admiring his college educated son, stopped all his advertising, after all if he said we are in a recession we must be, he went to college he knows!

    Then old man, stopped promoting specials and stuck to the menu prices, within a few weeks his business was very very bad, he shook his head and thought to himself; wow my son knew he was so smart.

    He sat there one day contemplating closing his business, the business that allowed him to raise two children and put them through college….

    Deciding to close, he shook his head and remembered his son’s words, we are in the middle of a recession, and again he smiled admiringly at how smart his son is.

    Look I am really baked at the moment, and awfully buzzed on quad shots of espresso, so I can only hope this makes sense and is pertinent!

  5. @4 What the hell is Chuck?
    @10 Sukatra- screw the Secret. We’re all doomed.
    @12 Dang Rey- you were so close to going somewhere. I think you need to get more baked and finish. Can you make the end happy? Like the stupid marketing major ends up getting minced for hot dogs, thus reducing his dad’s cost-of-goods-sold by 81%?

  6. @3 and @4 – yeah, frist. bill frist. whatever. I am way too cool to write “first!” when I’m the first one to comment on a video.

    Actually I had nothing to say, but Marilyn has already trademarked “I got nuthin’.”

  7. “5. I like to eat stamp collections but not collectors.”

    There’s a 99.9 % chance I said “WTH does that mean, Biznatch?” and a .1% chance I didn’t.


  8. Nalts, you left out “The guy who feels inclined to poorly quote and reenact an entire movie, despite your showing signs that you don’t give a crap” in the second paragraph. You also left out “Renetto”.

  9. @13: “Chuck” is a great show on NBC on Monday nights at 8 that nobody watches and everybody should. It’s dramedy about an underachiever who works at a place called Buy More (Best Buy in disguise). Through a series of events he manages to get the entire database of the CIA, NSA and every other secret organization downloaded into his brain. He ends up being an amateur spy working with a guy from the NSA and a hot chick from the CIA. There is plenty of comic relief, particularly among his Buy More colleagues.

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