Vote for Long-Time Nalts Viewer’s Ugly Couch

ByNalts

Diane wants to win this contest because she believes her couch is not just ugly. It’s the ugliest.

I find it such an odd goal I almost respect it. Vote here.

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41 Comments

  3. Is that photo digitally enhanced? It almost gave me seizures to look at it. It can’t REALLY be that color.

    I voted. By the way, who are you?

  5. Thanks Jim, Dahlia and Sukatra for voting!

    Dahlia, believe it or not, this is the real deal. Funny you mention that because someone else asked me the same thing! But I guarantee you … this is the real couch. No color or ugly enhancements.

    Funny part is I think the photos make the couch look better than it really is in person! Hence the youtube video… to get a closer look at its heinous pattern, flat mattress, broken springs, and super rough, balled up fabric. Hell hath no fury like a worn out couch!

    Long time Nalts fan, Diane

  8. Okay see here’s the thing. 1. why do manufacturers make couches like that. 2. why do people buy them?

    I don’t even own a couch. Visitors have to sit on chairs.

  10. Okay Diane, here’s what I want to know.

    What drugs were you on when you went into a store, saw that couch, thought to yourself “oh, I like it! I think I’ll buy it!”, and then plopped down god knows how much money for it?

    alternatively, if someone gave it to you, why didn’t you just shoot them before they made it in the door?

  11. I have 3 couches that are just as ugly: missing legs, dog and mom urine stained, sister burned (cigarettes), bum-flattened, roach-crapped, dust mite infested hideous health hazard eyesores.

    But I’m not in the contest, so I voted for your clothmonster, D.

  13. ^ Thanks, Kelly. Did I mention that two out of three of my couches have large tears and holes where the dog tried to dig her way into them to get at the tasty bugs or that there are scotch tape (industrial width) patches all over them?

  14. Sadly, I cannot blame it on a bad acid trip Nalts. Although if you stare and it long enough and jump up and down then close your eyes… it has similar affects.

    Marquis, I must say, that is a couch with character.

    Is this your couch?

    http://69.147.103.179/us.f657.mail.yahoo.com/ya/securedownload?mid=1%5f2165%5f1%5f111378%5f0%5fAGIJDUwAAC%2flSQXuSQTWoC4iQHA&pid=2.2&fid=%2540S%2540Search&inline=1&cred=rYVLzXXhD2nwMEnc4L.bbGmJ5WjIUSo5gVlEbcrAHBN9Ej59RJIqIErBh6Cu8FfaYIyiEU.M36.g_usxJamrqtF9DHjYYg8LiYB4WY7o&ts=1225308375&partner=ymail&sig=1nS0wFDnzEAkJ2c8oucLNw–

  16. Sure, you help some lady nobody knows named Diane out to win a gross couch contest, but you don’t help your ol’ pal Reubnick, who comments almost all of your posts with some huge ego ridden comment about himself, win the Doritos thing! That’s just great! Thanks a lot!

    Oh wait, I forgot you are also entered in it…Nevermind. May the best man win…

    Anyway, back to relevance, I voted for the couch because I am a very nice individual who enjoys making new friends, even if it requires him to vote for a couch. Am I still typing?

  17. @16
    Not only is that my couch, Diane, but that’s my dog on it. How’d you get this picture? Kinda creepy. I guess you can google anything these days.

    Well, I’ve recovered the couch and given the dog a haircut and I’m compressing the video I made today of the couch. It should be up on YouTube in three hours ( 9 PM Central Time).

    Four minutes of hideous couch. Don’t miss it!
    🙂

  20. That is one butt-ugly couch. I voted for it also.

    I used to have a fairly butt-ugly couch myself. It was free. I was broke. I had previously been siting on a footlocker. Don’t mock those of us who will take any available seating that isn’t infested with critters.

  22. @22

    Marquis – you have taken the ugly couch term to all new level! They’ve had this contest for the past couple of years… keep your eyes peeled for it – I think yours are a shoe in (nutcheese is right)!

  25. PS – thanks everyone … we’re now eeking by in 3rd place. a little under 200 votes from 2nd and 400 from 1st! Yay Nalts!

  31. hate to be the buzz kill here, but I don’t think either one of your couches is what I would call ugly – old, dull, worn out, beat up, dorm ready perhaps. Actually, Diane I think your harboring a potential fire hazard. Marquis sympathy card is in the mail. Judging by last years winner, the standards for ugly seems to require a blanket or bag over the whole thing at all times. just sayin’

  32. @32

    Ok now you have to post a photo of your own couch. I’m curious at what you have going at your place.

    This couch is a wretched beast that needs to put put down (where’s Sarah Palin when you need her).

    For the sake of decency and comfort. Unlike the other contestants… At least theirs appear to have some cushions left. My couch’s cushions are flat similar to what deflated pancakes might feel like if you sat on them…Depressing!

    Like Marquis’ couches, this one has several qualities for your sensory pleasure … a true scratch and sniff couch if you will.

  33. As you can tell from my video, I’m running a halfway house for unrehabilitated couches. We have room for one more in the living room and one for the front porch. Bring it over.

  35. @35 I warned ya! I was just sayin’.. I looked at last years winner on their page, figuring that would be some sort of indication of what they thought ugly was, and the woman’s couch was in perfect shape, just a crappy, dated and out of style pattern. Ugly after all, like beauty, is rather subjective and I don’t own a couch, still looking for the perfect one.

  37. @37

    Thank you 😉

    I saw last years too. Completely hideous! But, there is nothing even close to that in this years. So I def. say go for the multi-sensory violator! Youtube vid to come today (maybe, if I can squeeze it in).

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