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Twitter Generates Auto Affirmations

ByNalts

Emo LoserToday’s day started with some reading of Louise Hay (my personal Stuart Smalley). Then I started scanning some of YouTube Creator Charles Trippy‘s recent Twitter posts. The posts have become a rather transparent view into Trippy’s recent funk.

I see him as a stable, almost transcendental guy in real life. And maybe I’m seeing bird crap on my own windshield not a dirty scenery… but I’ve interpreted his recent Twitter posts (which are brief 144-character microblogs) as being somewhat sad. Poor guy needs a hug.

charles trippyThen I started thinking about how cool it would be to have software monitor your e-mails, Twitters, and articles you read, and even videos you watch. It would detect what you’re feeling/thinking as a result of these choices, and serve up automated affirmations. For instance, if you were reading a lot of information about diets, you might receive an automated e-mail that would say “nourish yourself through love and exercise.” If you were searching for information on buying opiods and tranquilizers it might say “I am safe in the universe and it’s okay to express my feelings.”

If you were watching a lot of Nalts videos, it might say “you have discovered spiritual enlightenment like no other human before.”

That’d be cool. Hold on a second. I’m going to go hug my Trippy doll. There I’m back.

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27 Comments

  2. Now I wanna subscribe to trippy so I can read his emo ramblings.

    Oh yeah, and I bet he would LOVE to know that you’re speculating on his mental state in a blog read by 10s of dozens of people.

  3. Hey, I just had great idea. Instead of reading all these bullshit self-help books, why don’t you do the following:

    1. get rid of the kids for the day. Get BSoN over there to keep them out by the pool all day or better yet, take a road trip. Or tell Jo you’re in tremendous pain and need to be left alone at all costs.
    2. If you can get BSoN out there, tell Jo to go shopping and buy whatever she wants, even if it blows the credit card debt up another 10K.
    3. Pop 2 vicodin, lay back in your easy chair and wait for the buzz. Repeat throughout the day as necessary.

    That sounds like an AWESOOME way to get some self-affirmation. I would do it myself if only you would quit bogarting all your meds and send me some of that vicodin.

  4. Oh there’s a good idea. 😛 Tell the whole world about my foibles and fixations. People that know me in the real world already think I’m brain damaged. No reason to confirm it with incessant Twittering.

    “Did you say on Twitter, August 22 2008 that you felt depressed and wanted to cry until dawn”?

    “We have noticed a trend towards anti-social thinking in your YouTube viewing habits’.”

    ” Were sorry we can’t offer you the job. Based on your online history we don’t think you’re our kind of person”

    Google is benevolent and will use all of its information for the good of mankind. Hmmm Orwell would love today’s world.

  8. Up here in Minnesota, Stewart Smalley is running for senate. If he wins, then doggonit, maybe people will like me.

    Oh, what was this post about? I stopped reading at Stewart Smalley.

  11. Officer loses badge, gun over MySpace
    22 internal investigations target officer

    By Michelle Yoffee-Beard | April 09, 2008

    OVIEDO – Though he’s had a string of more than 20 internal investigations, it was an Oviedo Police Officer’s MySpace page that got his badge and gun taken away Friday.

    Oviedo Police Officer Justin Varkony of Winter Springs had his gun and his badge taken from him on Friday and was placed on administrative duty while an investigation is completed about what was written on his MySpace page, Lt. Dennis Lynch of the Oviedo Police Department said.

    Varkony’s MySpace page was removed by Friday, but on Thursday, when he still had street duties, his MySpace page stated: “Justin (is) a supertrained killer ninja fighter of the night who has not had a chance to use this special skill yet.”

    “On [Thursday], information was received that Oviedo Police Officer Justin Varkony had typed a sentence on his personal MySpace.com account that was inappropriate for a member of the police department,” Lynch wrote in an e-mail on Tuesday afternoon.

    Previous concerns about the officer include notching his city-issued Taser gun to represent people he’s tased and embarking on an unauthorized high-speed chase outside of the city limits

  12. @10 Until today it had been 6 days since I’d seen sunlight. I was almost ready to look for a Winchester lollypop. Trippy’s in Tampa, I think. They got lucky there. No where near the rain but maybe the cloud cover.

  14. I Awakened
    by marquisdejolie
    06/09/04

    I awakened to the setting of the sun,
    shards of waning light
    cutting through my closed blinds,
    cutting through my darkness,
    cutting across my room
    in hard geometrical shapes,
    slicing through my solitude,
    slicing into my sleep time,
    daylight’s dying attempt
    to rouse me into the hard-edged industriousness
    of the day people.

    God, the day people,
    insectine creatures
    who push and shove
    and kick the back of the next person’s heels
    and honk and squeel
    and ring and buzz and bother
    and slip their hands stealthily
    into each other’s pockets
    and pass forests of paper—
    statements and bills and invoices and cash–
    forests of paper back and forth
    and back again . . .
    and forth again . . .
    their only measure of self worth
    found in the heights of their stacks.

    And I awakened
    to the setting of civilization,
    said no thanks,
    rolled over in my bed
    and went back to my dreams.

  16. @15
    Jan, are you trying to guilt us because we are such a shallow, easily guiled, lipservice nation?

    Take it outside. We’re more concerned with Trippy’s bangs than we are with the fate of our children.
    🙂

  18. Isn’t that an old pic of trippy? I thought he got his hair cut and was less emo-looking now. Whatever. I don’t watch him or follow him on Twitter.

  23. How many people have their own personal TV channels online? Usually, my personal observations are less well-choreographed. Maybe I should learn more about how to videotape….

  25. I love the collective psyche of this blog as represented by the comment thread. I have a feeling some day someone will tell me that this blog has never allowed comments, and you’re all a figment of my imagination.

  27. @24 mike – Google lied [click] and should be made by law to erases their database. They stated they have no need or use for such data collecting yet, the Viacom law suit proved how invasive Google’s database collecting really is.

    Where’s the class action law suit by users? ACLU? Anyone?
    [crickets]

    “They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security.” -Franklin

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