Tag Archives: Nalts

Kids Today: Quote from Socrates?

I remember a quote I received 16 years ago via e-mail — back in the days when you couldn’t verify things through Snopes, Google or Hoaxbusters. To put this time in perspective, a girlfriend challenged me to find the original name for Winnie the Pooh and it took a phone call to Disney’s librarian to get the answer (Edward the Bear).

Here’s the quote (which took me 45 minutes to find via Google because I couldn’t remember that it’s attributed to Socrates):

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

It’s widely reported that this quote below was spoken by Socrates (and written by Plato), and this was further legitimized by this source: Attributed to SOCRATES by Plato, according to William L. Patty and Louise S. Johnson, Personality and Adjustment, p. 277 (1953).

But the folks on Google Answers doubt it’s authenticity, and point to this information as sourced on Bartleby.com:

This passage was very popular in the 1960s and its essence was used by the Mayor of Amsterdam, Gijsbert van Hall, following a street demonstration in 1966, as reported by The New York Times, April 3, 1966, p. 16. This use prompted Malcolm S. Forbes to write an editorial on youth.โ€”Forbes, April 15, 1966, p. 11. In that same issue, under the heading โ€œSide Lines,โ€ pp. 5โ€“6, is a summary of the efforts of researchers and scholars to confirm the wording of Socrates, or Plato, but without success. Evidently, the quotation is spurious.

So what’s this got to do with online video, Nalts? It’s the context of today’s “Kids Today Suck” video, where I react to a series of playfully insulting birthday wishes from online-video creators. (Parenthetically, I’m still wiping the makeup and latex off my face, hoping to spare my kids the trauma of waking to a dad that’s even older looking than usual).

My video reflects what I believe is an important insight, and there are other historical quotes on Google Answers that back it up that make it less important as to whether Socrates said it or not. When we perceive children as disrespectful and lacking exercise we are observing a timeless truth. So put ’em in perspective before you beat yourself up or, worse yet, them.

There are at least two 2-word statements that make me gag — especially when they come out of my own mouth. “You need” and “these days.” When I catch myself thinking or saying them, it usually prompts some reflection.

Thanks to all of you for your birthday wishes! You blogged about it, created a new YouTube channel with several dozen thoughtful and humorous wishes, and created the funniest birthday “collab” I’ve seen. You even pushed my recent “Soap Candy Prank” video to the number one comedy of the day on YouTube, with more than 300 comments and high ratings. Life’s a roller coaster but I tend to believe it gets more enjoyable with time — like a fine wine. Unless of course the cork rots. ๐Ÿ™‚

I am to Korea what Jerry Lewis is to France.

Well maybe the headline is an overstatement because I have no idea what this Korean website is saying about me. But I’m sure it’s something like “he’s a viral video genius” who knows marketing and online-video better than anyone else inย the globe.ย  If you happen to speak or read Korean, I’d invite a translation. Google Translator isn’t much help, and the other sites turn this text into something that makes no sense…

, ์ž์นญ ๋ฐ”์ด๋Ÿด ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์ฒœ์žฌ์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค. ์˜จ๋ผ์ธ ์Šคํƒ€๋„ ์•„๋‹ˆ๊ณ  ๋จธ๋ผ๊ณ  ํ•ด์•ผํ•˜์ฃ . ์ž์นญ์ด๋‹ˆ ํž˜๋“ค๊ตฐ์š”.

๋ชจ๋ฐ”์ผ ๋น„๋””์˜ค – ํ˜„์žฌ ์•„์ฃผ ์†Œ์ˆ˜๋งŒ์ด ๋ชจ๋ฐ”์ผ์„ ์œ„ํ•ธ ๋น„๋””์˜ค๋ฅผ ์ œ์ž‘ํ•˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค. ๋ชจ๋ฐ”์ผ ๋น„๋””์˜ค๋Š” ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ์นด๋ฉ”๋ผ ์ƒท, ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋” ํƒ€์ดํŠธํ•œ ์Šคํ† ๋ฆฌ๊ฐ€ ํ•„์š”ํ•˜๋‹ค. ์†Œ์ˆ˜ ์ œ์ž‘์ž๋“ค์€ ์Šคํฐ์„ ๋ฐ›๊ธฐ ์‹œ์ž‘ํ–ˆ๊ณ  ๋ชจ๋ฐ”์ผ ์—…์ฒด๋“ค์€ ์ปจํ…์ธ  ์ˆ˜๊ธ‰์— ๋ชฉ๋ง๋ผ ์žˆ๋‹ค. ๋”ฐ๋ผ์„œ 2008๋…„์€ ์•”ํ‘๊ธฐ๋ฅผ ์ง€๋‚˜ ์ผ๋ณธ๊ณผ ํ•€๋ž€๋“œ์—์„œ ์ผ์–ด๋‚œ ์ผ์— ๊ทผ์ ‘ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ธฐ๊ฐ„์ด ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค.๋” ์ค‘์š”ํ•œ ๊ฒƒ์€ ๋ชจ๋ฐ”์ผ์— ์žˆ์–ด์„œ์˜ ๊ทผ๋ณธ์ ์ธ ๊ต์ฐฉ์ƒํƒœ์ด๋‹ค.์‚ฌ์šฉ์ž์˜ ์š”๊ตฌ๋Š” ์ฒœ์ฒœํžˆ ๋Š˜๊ณ  ์žˆ๊ณ  ๋ง์‚ฌ์–ด์ž์™€ ์ปจํ…์ธ  ์†Œ์œ ์ž๋Š” ์„œ๋กœ ๊ถŒํ•œ์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ์–‘๋ณด๋ฅผ ํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜์ง€ ์•Š๊ณ  ์žˆ๋‹ค. ๊ฑฐ๊ธฐ๋‹ค ์ˆ˜์ต์€ ์ž‘๋‹ค. ๋ฐด์ฒ˜๋Š” ์ƒํ™ฉ์„ ์กฐ์šฉํžˆ ํ•ด๊ฒฐํ•˜๊ณ  ์‹ถ์–ดํ•˜๊ณ  ํฐ ์—…์ฒด๋“ค์€ ์ปจํŠธ๋กค์„ ์œ„ํ•œ ์ „์Ÿ์„ํ•  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค.

๋น„๋””์˜ค ๊ด‘๊ณ  – ๊ตฌ๊ธ€์˜ InVideo๊ด‘๊ณ ๊ฐ€ ๋ช…ํ™•ํ•œ ๋ชจ๋ธ์ด๋‹ค. ๋œ ์„ฑ๊ฐ€์‹œ๋ฉฐ ํƒ€๊ฒŸํŒ…์ด ๊ฐ€๋Šฅํ•˜๋‹ค. ๊ทธ๋ฆฌ๊ณ  ๋งˆ์ผ€ํ„ฐ๋“ค์—๊ฒŒ ๋จนํžŒ๋‹ค. pre-roll์€ ๊ณ ๊ธ‰์ปจํ…์ธ ์—์„œ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๊ณ  ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์ฃผ์œ„์˜ ๋ฐฐ๋„ˆ๋Š” ์ผ๋ฐ˜ํ™”๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค.

๋ˆ„๊ฐ€ ๋งํ• ๊นŒ์š”? – 2์ง„๊ทธ๋ฃน์˜ ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์„œ๋น„์Šค๋“ค์€ ํฐ ํšŒ์‚ฌ์— ํŒ”๋ฆฌ๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์•„๋‹ˆ๋ฉด ์‚ฌ๋ผ์งˆ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค. 2007๋…„ Youtube์™€ ๊ทธ ์™ธ ์„œ๋น„์Šค๋“ค์˜ market share์˜ ๊ฒฉ์ฐจ๋Š” ์—„์ฒญ๋‚˜๊ฒŒ ๋ฒŒ์–ด์กŒ๋‹ค. ์˜จ๋ผ์ธ์€ ์•„๋งˆ ํ•˜๋‚˜ ๋˜๋Š” ๋‘๊ฐœ์˜ major player๋กœ ์ •๋ฆฌ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค. ์ตœ๊ณ ์˜ ๊ธฐ์ˆ ์„ ๊ฐ€์ง€๊ณ  ์žˆ๋”๋ผ๊ณ  ์‚ฌ์šฉ์ž๋ฅผ ๋ชจ์œผ์ง€ ๋ชปํ•ด์„œ ๋˜๋Š” ๊ด‘๊ณ ์ฃผ๋ฅผ ๋ชจ์œผ์ง€ ๋ชปํ•ด์„œ ๋‹ค๋“ค ์‚ฌ๋ผ์งˆ ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค. ์˜ˆ๋กœ๋Š” Revver๊ฐ€ ์žˆ๊ฒ ๋‹ค.

์˜จ๋ผ์ธ ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์Šคํƒ€ – ์•„์‰ฝ๊ฒŒ๋„ ์ธํ„ฐ๋„ท ๋น„๋””์˜ค๋ฅผ ํ†ตํ•ด ์•„๋งˆ์ถ”์–ด๊ฐ€ ์Šคํƒ€๊ฐ€ ๋˜๋Š” ์ผ์ด ์˜ˆ์ƒ๋งŒํผ ์ผ์–ด๋‚˜๊ณ  ์žˆ์ง€ ์•Š๋‹ค. ํ—๋ฆฌ์šฐ๋“œ ์Šคํƒ€์ผ์€ ๋ฌด์‹œํ•  ์ˆ˜ ์—†๋‹ค. ๋น„์šฉ๊ตฌ์กฐ๊ฐ€ ๋ฐ›์ณ์ฃผ์ง€ ์•Š์Œ์—๋„ ๋ถˆ๊ตฌํ•˜๊ณ  ํˆฌ์Ÿ์—†์ด ๋ณ€ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์€ ์—†์„๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค.

๋“œ๋ผ๋งˆ์ž‘๊ฐ€ ํŒŒ์—… – ์ž‘๊ฐ€๋“ค์€ ๊ทธ๋“ค์ด ์›ํ•˜๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ์–ป๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค. (๊ทธ๋Ÿฌ๋‹ˆ๊นŒ ๋‹ค๋ฅธ ๋งค์ฒด๋ฅผ ํ†ตํ•ด ์–ป์–ด์ง€๋Š” ๊ด‘๊ณ  ์ˆ˜์ต์— ๋Œ€ํ•œ ๋ฐฐ๋ถ„)

์ผ์‹œ์ ์ธ ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์œ ํ–‰ – ๊ด‘๊ณ ์— ๊ธฐ๋ฐ˜ํ•œ ๊ณต์งœ ๋ผ์ด๋ธŒ ๋น„๋””์˜ค ์ŠคํŠธ๋ฆฌ๋ฐ ์„œ๋น„์Šค๋“ค์€ ๊ณ ๊ฐ์—๊ฒ ์•„์ฃผ ์ข‹์œผ๋‚˜ ๋ˆ์ด ๋  ๊ณณ์ด ์•ˆ๋ณด์ธ๋‹ค.๋ˆ์„ ๋ฐ›๊ฒŒ ๋˜๊ฑฐ๋‚˜ ์‚ฌ๋ผ์ง€๋Š” ๊ฒƒ์„ ๋ณด๊ฒŒ ๋  ๊ฒƒ์ด๋‹ค. (Stickam / Skype)

์ž์นญ ์ฒœ์žฌ์‹œ์ง€๋งŒ ๋งŽ์€ ๋ถ€๋ถ„ ๋งค์šฐ ํ˜„์‹ค์ ์ธ ์ƒํ™ฉ์ธ์‹์ด ๋ณด์ด์‹œ๋Š” ๋ถ„์ž…๋‹ˆ๋‹ค.

Rusty’s Song (and he doesn’t care if it goes viral)

Rusty from Rustyโ€™s Song videoRusty is our babysitter‘s dog, and this is his song (see video). Woke up at 4 a.m. with a compelling urge to write it. Don’t ask.

We found our babysitter because she was working at Applebees, and recognized my wife (wifeofnalts) and son (Charlie) from YouTube. And although her cookies taste like chunks of coal, you gotta admit her dog is pretty cute.

Lyrics:
His name is Rusty and this is his song
He’s pekingese but not from Hong Kong
He knows 4 languages but doesn’t do tricks
Please don’t ask him about his ticks

He likes to lick but never smokes
He’s tired of Yoda and Gremlin jokes
He’s not mean but he’ll bite your behind
If you say he looks like Zelda Rubenstein
That’s the lady from Poltergeist and you probably missed that if you were born after the 70s.

He’s voting for Obama and he’s definitely not gay
He believes in God but sleeps on Sunday
Though he can’t use a phone if he did he might
Vote for David Archuletta or Brook White

His name is Rusty and this is his song
We don’t think it’s an ear worm but maybe we’re wrong
Rusty doesn’t care if you think he’s lame
His esteem is too strong to need Internet fame

My First Shout Out (boring “history of nalts” post)

Don’t know what a “shout out” is? It’s when you mention someone in your video. Don’t care? Stop reading. This blog entry isn’t for the industry watchers, but for the small group of obscure people that watch my crap.

I stumbled into my first “shout out” video recently. In this fake PSA I did about Revver.com, I spoof the “art” of independent creators, and shed light on the folks that were ripping content and then making money on it (my brother in law played the video artist that made $9 a week dropping forks on the ground). The video was called “Revverberation,” which would later become the name of my unofficial Revver blog that spawned this one.

marquisdejolieAt the end you’ll see a legal document that lists Marquisdejolie vs. Texas. I remember Googling for a legal template, then altering it with his name and then photographing it… wondering if he’d notice this homage since he seemed to be watching every new Revver video like I was.

I also remember going nuts that this video got thousands of views, since most got 50-100.ย  To gauge the magnitude, I adjust for view inflation by multiplying 2006/2007 views by 1,000 times. So this was a 3 million view video, as far as I was concerned.

More related trivia. When I was first featured on YouTube with “Viral Video Genius,” I mention being called an Andy Warhol of online video… “by a homeless guy in Texas. He has a blog. Google it.” Well this time Marquisdejolie caught the “shout out” before I had to spoon feed it, and no response tickled me like his spontaneous laughter clip. Can you listen to that and not crack up?

Here’s Marquisdejolie’s recount from a year ago, but I can’t seem to find his original blog post calling me the Warhol of online video.

And then there’s this post from MarquisdeJolie’s blog:

Nalts doesn’t need a tribute from me. He’s doing just fine on Revver and Youtube and Livevideo and Metacafe and wherever else he may be…. Wherever 10 or more viral video fans collect to watch videos, you find a Nalts video there…. I just needed an excuse to use his name in my blog so that the Internet search engines will spot my blog and up my ranking. His screen name is a commodity now like gold or silver or pork bellies. Use it in your blog and watch your hits skyrocket.

Why I Haven’t Posted a Video in a While (Like You Care)

Why haven’t I posted a video in nearly a week? You decide:

  1. I’m out of ideas. Like Gary Larson, only I was never as funny.
  2. I took Easter off. And can’t get back.
  3. One of my irreverent videos went “viral” in my company, and unintentionally hurt someone’s feeling. I’m keeping a low profile.
  4. I’m too sleepy.
  5. Self deprecating Kevin says my ideas suck.
  6. I’m too busy punching myself in the face because I’m so annoying.
  7. I’ve decided to abandon NaltsGetsFit and do a NaltsEatsShit channel. Live Stickam viewings of my midnight cereal binges.
  8. I’m busy getting Zen with Eckart Tolle, who tells me it’s madness to judge myself by how many subscribers I have. He doesn’t actually say that.
  9. I’m trying to think of a big April’s Fools joke. I can’t find my walk-e-talkies to do “the talking purse.”
  10. I want to give the nation constipation.
  11. If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing.
  12. Insert your own reason here.
  13. Marilyn doesn’t like my blog anymore because it’s not fun and nobody is commenting. So she won’t like my video ideas.
  14. I don’t feel like making room on my hard drive, despite my external drive count reaching 12.
  15. I won’t make another video until Mac gives me a free Mac Air, the cheap bastards.
  16. I tried to learn Final Cut Express, and it’s overwhelming. But I feel like going back to iMovie is a sign of weakness. Like going back to size 38 pants.
  17. There is no 17th excuse.

10 People Bought My DVD

Yey! Nine people bought my “Best of Nalts” DVD, which is precisely 8 more than I expected. Thank you:

  1. Damon (Maryland)
  2. Kimberley (Florida)
  3. Mattias (Sweden)
  4. Jason (New York)
  5. Krysta (Canada)
  6. Gordon (UK)
  7. Ian (England)
  8. James (Georgia)
  9. Diane (CT)

One of the problems about it is that you can’t select “play all.” Unfortunately, my Mac crashed and I lost the whole project so I can’t fix that. Thank goodness I produced the DVD, because some of those videos are gone except on this DVD and YouTube.

The quality is amazing, but people in general don’t like to pay for content they can get for free. So I didn’t expect to retire on this, much less cover my cell bill for a month.

Update: March 22. One more!

  • Robert R. (PA)

The Internet Never Forgets: Cap’n Crunch Is NOT the Devil

In further proof that I’ll not likely pass my next new-hire screening, here are two of many prank letters I wrote 17 years ago. The Internet never forgets, and Pat Kutack never forgets to renew his URL dedicated to his now defunct Georgetown University comedy troupe called “Rebels Without Applause.” Mind you, I never had the courage to join the folks on stage. But I video taped their shows (in exchange for an open tab at the bar).

We’ve come full circle haven’t we? Do you think I was kidding about this WillVideoForFood name? I once videotaped a wedding surviving only on olives from the bar.

Here are two letters I shared with Pat during college. They’re prank letters to two cereal manufacturers:

  1. General Mills’ Cinnamon Toast Crunch because I found a cigarette butt in my bowl.
  2. Quaker’s Cap’N Crunch, because the cartoon “icon of the devil” was freaking my kids out. Never mind that I wouldn’t have kids for another 7 years after writing that.

captain crunch loves youHighlights: November 18, 1990. To Quaker: I have two kids and they used to eat Cap’N Crunch all the time. But then once a friend of mine told me that Cap’N Crunch he’s an icon of the devil. I got to noticing that my kids acting realy strange when they eat the food. The last box I bought I won’t let them eat and its hard anyway ,so they shouldn’t eat it. We aren’t buying your cereal anymore because there scared and I am too of it.

In great diplomacy, Quaker didn’t give the devil his due. But a “consumer response specialist” did explain (see below) that the Cap’n artist was Jay Ward, the creator of Rocky the Squirrel and

captain crunch loves you

Bullwinkle the Moose. So that pretty much cleared things up, and I’ve been a fan of Cap’n ever since. Especially peanut butter.

P.S. This brilliant comment from Marquisdejolie: I remember reading about that. Some poor smoker at General Mills was fired despite his vehement protests of innocence. His wife left him, taking the children and everything he owned except a ratty old recreational vehicle. He lived in it down by the river for years, cultivating a wicked bad drinking habit. Then one day, he snapped, parked the RV along the route of a city parade and began shooting at the floats screaming โ€œThereโ€™s your butt! Thereโ€™s your butt!โ€ The sniper was killed in a hail of police fire, but not before he mortally wounded a much beloved math teacher and three school children. It was in all the papers.

Seven Awesome Kids Launches

seven awesome kidsHere’s a new YouTube channel calledย , where the Nalts kids join 6 other families for a rotating blog (in the tradition of FiveAwesomeGirls and FiveAwesomeGuys (fiveawesomekids was taken, and we had more families that wanted to participate).

This is the debut video, which features:

http://www.youtube.com/Nalts
http://www.youtube.com/MuggleSam
http://www.youtube.com/AmazingHolly
http://www.youtube.com/Berzerkeley
http://www.youtube.com/Russosa
http://www.youtube.com/Maryann712
http://www.youtube.com/user/kayceprincess