New Host of “The View” Announced
Nothing was really interesting in my RSS readers for online-video, so let’s turn to the world of television. My new slogan on YouTube is “Kevin Nalts: Because TV Sucks Anymore.”
Here’s an Onion article that announces the new host of “The View.” A 900-pound giant squid that the producers believes is female.”
I have been asking myself why I can’t stop giggling over this ridiculous concept, and I can’t get to the answer. I think it’s just a celebration of the absurdity of the show, the banter, the infeuding, and its transient hosts.
I just hope she’s not one of those squids that can shoot ink because Barbara is SO going to look like an older Star Jones (1997 to 2006) in a few weeks.
I LOVE that. That is HILARIOUS.
She should fit right in with the rest of the predators.
^ You pre-thought my line, jimmer
Don’t forget to make the obligatory National Boss Day video for Thursday, folks. This Thursday. Tomorrow.
What a good snatch…errr I mean catch. Just like the rest of those classy sea monsters! Could you imagine being the only male locked in a 10 x 10 room with the lights out with these women? If you’re black and married you’d have tentacles carressing your entire body and if you’re lucky you might even get sprayed with ink!
LOL, Barbara Walters that dirty bird!
@4 How prescient of me. Great minds and all ๐ seems like the natural thing to say.
Oink.
Ah, so they let Rosie O’Donnell come back.
I don’t get it…
Haha now I got it ๐
I got nuthin’.
Isn’t Whoopee worried that the squid will try to bring back plantation slavery?
Speaking of disingenuous politics, I’m so excited: soon, without lifting a finger, I will be catapulted into the middle class! Vote Obama! Socialism will make us all equal.
๐
Speaking about cephalopods that think they’re human…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNx_VoYyPxQ
I hope you guys enjoy!
Speaking of the redistribution of wealth, it is WAAAY past time that YouTube adopt the Obama plan. It’s not fair that SMPFilms and Nalts and HappySlip get all the video views while us nobodies get only hundreds or even dozens of views!
I propose that any views the top Youtubers get over 25,000 be redistributed to…well, to me….and people like me. That’s only fair. That way, we’ll ALL get 25,000 views. That’s true equality! Are ya with me!?
Hmmm. Redistribution of views.
“For those who have views, to those that need views”
Doesn’t the Onion usually incorporate fiction and/or satire into the story? I found the whole thing to be entirely plausible.
@15
Exactly! Kevin can’t even respond to a tenth of the comments on his videos. It’s just too much for one person. So spread those views/comments to us peons who are just ass-scratchin’ and listening to the crickets. Hear that, Kevin? We’ll share the burden of your comments, comrade! Just give us your unneeded views!
@16
Me, too.
I love how I have so many hands down on my comment of your latest video, nalts.
@17
Not just views. There should be a redistribution of subscribers. Nalts’ channel has nearly 30 times as many subscribers as I. Is that fair? I say no. It doesn’t matter that he’s funnier, more experienced (i.e. “old”), and makes videos about 30 times more frequently. I’m an American, and I’m entitled to the same treatment as every other American, no matter how poor a video producer I am, and how talented a video producer he is!
If Obama adds subscriber redistribution to his ticket, I’ll give him my vote. ๐
@19
HE DID! I heard him propose it at a San Antonio rally. Equal subscribers for all!
P.S.
That squid picture looks like a warty, cancerous bifurcated penis. If it wasn’t so big, I’d guess it was Zipster’s.
This was funny. The comments were at least as good as the original post. As it should be.
completely off topic, haven’t been following WVFF in a while, so forgive me if this has been covered already – but Nalts, when are you going to start twittering?
I’ll share my views. But then you gotta take some of the stalkers with you.
(Whistle) “Hey stalkers! Quit Stalkin!”
I like stalkers. Send me a couple. Preferably cute chick stalkers.
Some plumber’s apprentice stumbles across a political candidate at a shopping mall and (WHAMMO!), suddenly Joe The Plumber is more famous (on and off the internet) than Nalts, Renetto, Zipperhead and HappySlap all put together. Fame ain’t fair or built on effort, is it!?
Yeah, but the work Nalts does for his clients doesn’t require them to stare uncomfortably at his ass crack for an hour…
I’m not saying he PERSONALLY doesn’t require it, but professionally…
@Peter
Hahahaha!
But seriously, I’m taking my plumbing tools down to the WalMart parking lot. Maybe I’ll get invited to be in another Hollywood documentary.
You were in Superbad?
Bumfighters, Vol 3
Hey, Kevin, what’s this stuff Congressman Murtha is saying about western Pennsylvanians being full of racists? I thought yall northerners were progressive.
Get that big ugly dick off the front of this blog page.
“Big Ugly Dicks” sounds like a good name for a rock band.
@32
Oh how many times during this last year of reading WVFF have I thought this VERY SAME thing????
๐
@33: Do you read Dave Barry?
#35 – i used to. Is that where I got that phrase?
Coincidentally, I was just thinking of him today. I suddenly came up with my dream job – Dave Barry’s column without all the sports.
Elizabeth Hasselbeck is a stupid whore!
@36: Dave is always coming up with names he thinks would be good names for rock bands. He even has an acronym for it on his blog (http://blogs.herald.com/dave_barrys_blog/):
TWMAGNFARB