Mr. Clean Contest

mrclean.jpgMr. Clean says to enter his contest or he’ll use those large bicepts to pummel you.

Big stakes ($10K) but the prize only goes to one winner. And I’m “perpetual runner’s up guy.” But I’ve got my idea, and it’s part based on reality. My wife has a crush on Mr. Clean. And I try to win back her affection- my hairline IS slightly better than Mr. Clean’s.

What do you think? Any comedic elements I can introduce? Don’t worry. You’ll get credit. No cash but credit. I just want some free “Magic Erasors.” We go through those things like toilet paper.

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16 Comments

  1. Additional comedic element:

    Make up one of the kids to be bald and then do some kind of family scene (like a family meal) where everyone is together. There will be one bald kid at the table. You make some sort of clever remark that is on the surface innocent but that viewers will “get.” You may or may not be making the remark with the understanding that this kid’s parentage may be suspect. For example, you could be clueless as to the hidden meaning in your comment, but the viewers understand. Or, right after you make the comment, the suspicion suddenly dawns on you, and when you look at Jo, she has a guilty look on her face and then quickly tries to change the subject (i.e., chirping brightly “who wants dessert?”)

  2. You’ll need a green screen and some software filters.

    You walk into the kitchen (B&W) with those old and ineffective cleaners, (dressed in an apron, rubber gloves, MJ face mask, tooth brush, bleach, bucket, rags) wife (in color) is standing by the sink hanging with one hand on to Mr. Clean’s big bicep, in her other hand she has a sponge. He takes the sponge from her seductively and cleans the counter, fast and easy. She looks up to Mr. Clean, smiles glowingly, (teeth and eyes sparkle) gazing into her eyes he offers her the sponge. Without breaking her gaze she takes the sponge and tosses it on to the floor. You, who, still in B&W is now bent over on hands and knees scrubbing the kitchen floor pick up the sponge (which is in color), look up at her and smile big, then start using the sponge to clean everything, fast, easy (from gray scale to color). Next scene both of you are by the sink gazing and hanging on to Mr. Cleans big biceps. You, now dressed in leather start acting like Buffalo Bill while playing with Mr. Cleans earring. Hey, it’s a new world!

    G rated ending – Mr. Clean Super Hero: After cleaning with Mr. Clean you are now all dressed up in a tux, you hand wife flowers, then run out the door to go on a dinner date.

    Voice Over: “With Mr. Clean you both have more time to enjoy life!” Mr. Clean waves goodbye as you both run out the door, he folds arms nods.

  3. “I just want some free “Magic Erasors.” We go through those things like toilet paper.”

    I think that’s a comedy right there. Especially your low-brow style. Using Magic Erasors as toilet paper.

  4. Her crush could be based solely on the fact that he’s clean and helps around the house. You mistake her crush for his appearance and spend all your time working out, piercing your own ear and shaving your head… she’s disgusted at your gym clothes all over the place, the hair you leave on the bathroom floor, blood in the sink… she finally leaves you for the scrawny, hairy cleaning guy YOU hire to clean up after your mess.

  5. I like the idea of you trying to win your wife back from Mr. Clean. If you actually went cue-ball for the video it would be hilarious. Think of all the money you would save on hair cuts for a few months. Plus it could mean you would be 10k richer.

  6. Yeah!! Shave your head, Nalts!! In a bid to win back your wife’s attention, you shave your head only to find out that the bald head was not what attracted Jo to Mr. Clean; it was his cleaning abilities, which you sorely lack. You go out and get some Magic ErasErs and clean the house spotless, after which Jo falls madly back in love with you.

  7. you wipe your bum on magic erasers? christ, I knew we were different but this is madness. Eleveators, sidewalks, single entendre; all fine. But weird toilet habits?

  8. Glad to know that you did “take one for the team” and get that head of yours shined up. Hope your day is goin’ well. How come I can’t view your entry on the contest page?

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