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Local Idiot to Post Comment on Video

ByNalts

One of the finer articles on The Onion: “Local Idiot to Post Comment on Video.” Thanks, M.C.

…he will feel a deep, unwavering desire to offer a dissenting opinion, which he has hinted will include the words “gay” and “reatrd” [sic].

“It is my moral obligation to alert the Internet community to the fact that this video is totally gay, and furthermore, that the individual who made it is a fag,” Mylenek said.

Pressed for further details regarding his intended post, Mylenek, who will comment under the Internet pseudonym “xblingdaddy2005x,” revealed that there is a strong possibility he will inadvertently post the comment twice.

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How Many of the 10 Billion Videos Viewed in February Did YOU Watch?

ByNalts

We watched 10 billion videos in February, according to ComScore yesterday. That’s a 66 percent gain from February 2007, and apparently about 73 percent of people online are watching videos. Which means the other 15 percent are losers that are too busy brushing up on their math skills. 35 percent of this activity is on…

Free Survey Tool Courtesy of Google Documents (how to use it)

ByNalts

I must have missed this memo, but Google Documents provides a free and easy-to-use survey tool. Here’s a video that explains it, and a crappy how-to video (see link) to help you set one up. However it’s pretty intuitive. Remember the days you’d need to pay for one on SurveyMonkey or SurveyGizmo? Now simple ones…

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Online-Video Workshop for Marketers

ByNalts

Warning: Blog post contains blatant self promotion. 🙂 I’ve been frustrated by the lack of understanding among marketers and advertising agencies about how to capitalize on online/viral video. Most viral-video marketing campaigns are born to fail — with heavy production costs, overtly promotional content, and view counts that are embarrassing. Rather than stew and rant,…

52 Comments

  1. Great! He has x’s at the ends of his name too? *Sigh*

    Btw Nalts, the fact that you are going to do blog.tv on Sundays when I will be unable to watch is so gay and retarded! I swear!

    This site is gay and retarded too! I’m un-subscribing to this un-subscribable blog!

    Psh!

  2. Holy Hell! I’m turning in my “Nalts #3 fan” pin! I just realized that you missed S.A.W. Subscriber Appreciation Week. (click link for those of you who don’t know)

    I’m so crushed! (but willing to forgive) :o)

    (#1 and #2 fans = Paris Hilton and Britney Spears) maybe they got special packages in the mail or something. Pssh!

  6. what’s this about x’s being cool?

    sorry I haven’t commented in a while, I’ve been really swamped lately with band and this film I’m doing.

  7. I sent that article to Nalts and the first thing I thought of when I saw the user name he was using was you, xjasongarciax!

    BTW, this blog is gay.

  11. It requires less oxygen to submit my opinions since I am older than you and breath less. That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it!

  12. Hey Nalts! I missed your BlogTV debut because you planned it for 7pm and I was doing other things. Next time plan it a little later so I can show up and kibitz!

    7 oclock BlogTV! Who does that? I’d have to miss Jeopordy or something! Jeeze!

  13. @Kirby: I religiously read The Onion and LOVED that Al Gore article! I was pissing my pants laughing so hard!

    In honor of sukatra and NutCheese, I also farted.

    In honor of Hank, I also pooped my pants.

  15. I agree with xPeter Coffinx.

    Hey, in case you wondered, which i am sure you did not, I am in beautiful suburban albuquerque visiting my sick dad, who today is unable to get out of bed. so we are reminiscing about old times and I am sweating like a pig because he likes his room hot. I’m a little sad. He’s so sick. Nutcheese, please crhy some emo tears for me in your emo corner.

    and marilyn, if you find typos (which I am sure you will, since I am sitting on the floor typing at a regular desktop level because they don’t have a chair in their computer room), suck it.

  16. oh yeah, i forgot to say that I do not understand this post. It’s even more confusing than the cool pony video that everybody gave you shit for. Not the one with the dong.the other one.

  17. and i forgot to say this : the winekone is now following me on twitter!!!!!! of course, i had to pull a nalts – beg somebody to tell him to follow h me. but you know me. i’m not proud.

    p.s. I just crapped my pants.

  18. @xsukatrax: I’ll give you a break on the typos, considering your predicament. I’ll try not to gnash my teeth too hard.

    Congratulations on TWK. i so rarely post on Twitter (as I once mentioned, it seems narcissistic to me), that anyone who follows me must be bored to tears.

  20. Jan – Did you make an account and register for blogtv? What was it, not sure who kicked you from the chat.

    Marilyn, what’s your twitter, i’ll follow you. Don’t worry, Nalts doesn’t follow me either, I don’t poop as often as sukatra.

    Nalts -Thanks for the autoplay luvin man! The blogtv show was great, glad you liked it and looking forward to more shows. That first question was the best one. 🙂

  21. I posted something here Aug 6 (early) but it was rejected because….uh…it had a YouTube link in the comment? Because I used my jamesjarvis (dot) net ebegging address in the url box?

  22. Could all of you send me a 3-second (preferably 2-second) clip of a closeup of your face as you sneeze (only real sneezes, please) and then a 3/preferably 2-second clip of you coughing (you can fake this one) and for you unabashed souls a clip of your face as you fart?

    I want to make a musical.

    640x480VGA, Quality HIGH, preserve aspect ratio using CROP, 30 frames per second, audio bitrate 256 or better, preferably .mov, H264 if you’ve got it

    Thanks.

    Send to (marquisdejolie)@yahoo(dot)com

  24. Marylin: bah, who uses, or even needs, twitter? I’m addicted enough to the internet with youtube, irc, and rss.

    marquisdejolie: I would love to send you a video, though I have YET to figure out how to sneeze on cue. I know, I’m sorry. I’m a bad teenage guy. let me go cry and be emo.

    though it occurs to me that just sending you a clip of me coughing might be just fine, as well. I SHALL GET ON IT, MY PURPOSE IN LIFE IS RENEWED!

    I’m sorry, I don’t know where that last half of that sentence came from…

  28. mdj, ouch at the nose hair, but so true!!! :o) I usually sneeze when I walk out into the bright sun, anybody else do that? Not all the time though.

  30. Jan – You don’t have to have a cam to register, or even intend to do a show, the chat rooms are limited to 149 people and registered users take precedence over guests in getting in to the “main room”. Plus a lot of the time, guests will get kicked faster by mods or ops whatever you want to call them because of the people that come to blog and spam stuff in the chat rooms.

  32. Pingback: Idiot Posts Stupid Comment on Video

  35. ^ you know I’m pretty sure Kevin can allow people to upload his videos on their channel and get paid for the advert on the page or have youtube put advertisement on the video- Youtube has something that monitors hits and any advert money made he would get. I know they do this with the big guys, but I think he may have to file some kind of form.

    It’s actually a friendlier way to deal with copyright violation and also reach new fans. Not sure, that in the end, violator still can’t be sued, but as long as there’s some compensation I doubt it would go very far. Of course this does open the door to a lot of false claims, but such is the nature of red tape.

    Which makes me wonder…

    How do you know the number of hits your video receives are true numbers? When Google YT pays out, how do you know if what they are reporting are true numbers? IOW who regulates the count? Who is watching Google?

    oh and hey, if you want to help ‘give it to the man’ click my name

  36. MDJ:

    Just got back from a weekend at my in-laws. I am really tired and backed-up on housework, and suffering from Internet withdrawal, but I’ll try to get the requested clips to you as soon as I can. Do you have a deadline?

  37. Marilyn:

    I hate internet withdrawal, I suffered that nearly everyday at school last year, thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that my school is putting in wireless this year.

  38. No deadline on my sneezical, Marilyn. When I get enough to start the editing, I’ll start. I have 5 or 6 videos in queue to be posted first and I don’t like to post more than one video per 8 hours, so there’s time.

  39. Hey

    Shame you had to visit Ohio under such circumstances as a funeral. At least you had nice weather most of the time.

    I’ve never been to a funeral.

  43. O Freunde, nicht diese Töne! Sondern laßt uns angenehmere anstimmen, und freudenvollere. Freude! Freude! Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt. Wem der große Wurf gelungen, Eines Freundes Freund zu sein; Wer ein holdes Weib errungen, Mische seinen Jubel ein! Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund! Und wer’s nie gekonnt, der stehle Weinend sich aus diesem Bund! Freude trinken alle Wesen An den Brüsten der Natur; Alle Guten, alle Bösen Folgen ihrer Rosenspur. Küße gab sie uns und Reben, Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod; Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben, Und der Cherub steht vor Gott. Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen Durch des Himmels prächt’gen Plan, Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn, Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen. Seid umschlungen, Millionen! Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt! Brüder, über’m Sternenzelt Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen. Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen? Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt? Such’ ihn über’m Sternenzelt! Über Sternen muß er wohnen. Seid umschlungen, Millionen! Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt! Brüder, über’m Sternenzelt Muß ein lieber Vater wohnen. Seid umschlungen, Diesen Kuß der ganzen Welt! Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Freude, schöner Götterfunken Ich bin also gebohrt

  45. Wait, wait… someone dissing Twitter (24)? No, no, no. Twitter is great. And I find it to be so great because I like blogging but I cannot muster the gusto to detail my life beyond a couple sentences.

    twitter.com/petercoffin

  47. To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; No more; and by a sleep to say we end The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to, ’tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish’d. To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, Must give us pause: there’s the respect That makes calamity of so long life; For who would bear the whips and scorns of time, The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely, The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay, The insolence of office and the spurns That patient merit of the unworthy takes, When he himself might his quietus make With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary life, But that the dread of something after death, The undiscover’d country from whose bourn No traveller returns, puzzles the will And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all; And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn awry, And lose the name of action. – Soft you now! The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons Be all my sins remember’d. Nuq daq o’ puchpa e’?

    get you some

  50. PLEASE DONT READ THIS!!!!U WILL GET KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF UR LIFE. 2MORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF UR LIFE.HOWEVER IF U DONT POST THIS COMMENT TO ATLEAST 3 VIDEOS U WILL DIE IN 2 DAYS.NOW UV STARTED READIN THIS SO DONT STOP NOW!THIS IS SOOO SCARY.SEND THIS TO ATLEAST 5 VIDEOS IN 143 MINUTES WHEN UR DONE PRESS F6 AND UR CRUSSHES NAMEWILL APPEAR ON THE SCREEN IN BIG LETTERS THIS IS SOO SCARY CUZ IT ACTUALLYMay24Jun17Jul13

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