Is Dennis Quaid “Dopey the Dick” Rant Real? Yes.

Is the Dennis Quaid “Dopey the Dick” rant a viral stunt or authentic rage moment? Today’s video shows a rage that rivals Christian Bale’s temper tantrum from 2008.

So it’s time for another “is it real or not” analysis on a “candid” or “staged” video. I’m only right 84.5% of the time, but I’m going with REAL.  What follows are the highlights, why you think it’s real, and 5 reasons why I don’t.

For a spontaneous rant, it’s some damned good scripting. Here are the highlights:

• DOPEY the DICK starts whispering in your ear
• Don’t fucking “Dennis” me!
• This is the most unprofessional set I have ever been on
• This is horse shit
• Zombies over here that I have to look at
• a bunch of pussies staring at me
• and this fucking baby

Here’s why people may think it’s fake:

• We’re increasingly skeptical of these impromptu moments.
• He’s allegedly filming a movie about a slimy auction houses so it could be a promotion stunt.
• The camera is very visible. You would expect someone on the set to be WAY more discrete about capturing a moment this sensitive.
• Quaid is an actor, and he’s done little stunts with Ellen. It’s always possible it’s a Jimmy Kimmel twerk trick of 2013.

But I still think it’s real. And here’s why:

1. The video starts late and gets dropped at just the right time. There’s a fierceness to his rage that seems sincere
2. His voice cadence is not dynamic, and the volume comes from his chest, neck and mouth rather than abdomen. I would expect an actor to project from his diaphragm and would provide more range in delivery.
3. He’s not THAT good of an actor (two words: Parent Trap).
4. He and his agent would not likely agree to a stunt like this because even if it’s a hoax it harms his reputation.
5. If it was a stunt, it would be “leaked” closer to the release date of the film.

Apparently Quaid isn’t commenting about it. What do you think?