Interview with ZeFrank

ZeFrank agreed to be interviewed with me regarding the Annoy ZeFrank contest. Here’s an exlusive transcript:

• WillVideoForFood (WVFF): Thanks for answering some questions. Any reason you wouldn’t let me do this via phone or in person on video?
• ZeFrank: I can give you about 12 reasons.
• WVFF: What are your thoughts about the Annoy ZeFrank contest?
• ZeFrank: I didn’t know you were having a contest. But now I’ve scanned the post. I find it sad that you would try to promote yourself using my fame.
• WVFF: Where do you get your ideas for your ZeFrank show? It’s sometimes funny.
• ZeFrank: I was born with them. I’ve tapped 2% of my inventory, so I’m good for about 90 more years of brilliant commentary.
• WVFF:Do you have any advice for “young ZeFranks” trying to break into the online video scene?
• ZeFrank: Don’t waste your time. I’ve cornered the market. There’s just so much crap out there. So much crap.
• WVFF: Doesn’t that come across as a little egotistical?
• ZeFrank: Yes. I believe I’ve earned the right to be egotistical. When you get famous like me you’ll understand.
• WVFF: Now you’re making me sad.
• ZeFrank: How can I make you sad? I’m not even saying these things. You’ve made up this whole interview.
• WVFF: What are you trying to say?
• ZeFrank:I’m saying that ZeFrank never participated in this interview. You’ve created the whole thing and you’re writing ZeFrank’s words yourself. Like that article you wrote in your journalism class in Georgetown where you interviewed a transvestite and you made the entire story up.
• WVFF: I did make that story up. But the professor — who worked for The Washington Post — liked it so much he read it to the class.
• ZeFrank: Stick to fiction, Nalts. And stop pretending to interview someone who won’t return your calls or e-mail.
• WVFF: Okay. I’m sorry Mr. Frank. Can I still be a “sports racer”?
• ZeFrank: If you stop crying like a little baby.