2011’s Dumbest Quotes: Read Like Poetry

It’s the dumbest quotes of 2011 read as poetry. Here’s the video, and the copy is below. Read along with the Mrs. and me, why don’t you?

The great poetry and quotes of the United States of America in 2011. Read alone BELOW. Read by Jo and Kevin Nalty (Wifeofnalts and Nalts).

Great American Poetry of 2011

Can’t Process by Charlie Sheen
I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it’ well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?

Ring Those Bells by Sarah Palin
He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.

Intellect Causes Crime by Georgia Prosecutor Patrick H. Head
“I think you could spend an unlimited amount of money on education and it will never eliminate crime. We have crime committed by people that have no respect for human life; we have crimes committed by people who have no respect for property.” He went on to say, “[criminals] will use that education and they will use that intellect in order to commit their crimes.”

Obamagasm by Esquire’s Steven March
“Can we just enjoy Obama for a moment? Before the policy choices have to be weighed and the hard decisions have to be made, can we just take a month or two to contemplate him the way we might contemplate a painting by Vermeer or a guitar lick by the early-seventies Rolling Stones or a Peyton Manning pass or any other astounding, ecstatic human achievement?”

Friday by Rebecca Black
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after…wards
I don’t want this weekend to end

Goofy Run by Ray William Johnson
What kind of running game is this if you can’t get this goofy ass f’ing alcoholic to run straight. What does he have an inner ear infection? Why are you even on the track team if you run this f’ing goofy? He does in fact run like a Welshman

Journey Through Time by Annoying Orange
Hey dinosaurs. Meteors. Hey Benjamin Franklin, lightening. Hey. Hey, uh, Titanic. I forgot what I was going to say. Oh yeah- Iceberg.

Webcams for Seniors by Bruce and Esther Huffman
K: (Monkey face) Oh look at the monkey.
J: Did I… did it capture? Why didn’t it take it. I put it on capture.
K: That’s a pretty good monkey
J: Hmm… okay wait a minute.
K: I don’t think you.. I don’t think you
J: Okay now. Do it again. What’s it say here. Take a photo snapshot. Okay.
K: Loud Yawn. Hello my darlin hello my baby. Hello my god don’t go.