Bert Healy from Annie: “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile”

My son and I were in Annie over the weekend, and I played Bert Healy, the host of the Oxydent Hour of Smiles. He sings “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile.” Yeah I bought a Barber Shop hat (Skimmer) but the director wanted me in this little baseball hat.

The video is annotated to hopefully help others who are cast as Bert Healy. I found a ton of YouTube videos with great singers, but few that helped identify quirks to give the character.

Here’s the video that wifeofnalts took. 🙂

Here are the lyrics and dialogue…

Continue reading “Bert Healy from Annie: “You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile””

How To Get YouTube Views and Subscribers Without Getting Scammed

How can I get YouTube views and subscribers without getting scammed? Here’s a video that discourages the use of bots, cheats and ridiculous purchase of views and subscribers (on eBay and other services found on Google searches).

There’s no “magic bullet” or proven way to get views and subscribers overnight (although that can happen with particularly viral videos). Instead, try a) optimism and persistence, b) collaborating and being social (interacting) with viewers and people who already have an audience (give them a reason to “shout you out” or embed your video, don’t beg or pay), and c) learn… links in the video description to my free eBook (How To Get Popular on YouTube Without Any Talent) and book (Beyond Viral).

Quick Way to Make Web-Television Suck Less (ethernet via powerline)

I never really bought in to the concept that audio or electronic signals could travel via powerlines. But when Jim Louderback (former computer nerd publisher and fellow online-video enthusiast) told me about these little dlink powerline guys at a bar in San Fran, I grabbed his laptop and purchased them via Amazon immediately. Come to think of it, I think I was still logged into his Amazon.

Surprisingly, they made it possible for me to watch television via that other doo-diggy that streams YouTube and Hulu to my HDTV through the convenience of a light keyboard and mouse… neither of which gets hot in my lap. That’s what sucks about laptop video from a couch or bed.

Years ago I marveled that new houses were being wired with Ethernet, and with wireless modems becoming so fast and cheap, I’ve often chuckled at that waste of money. In hindsight, it was brilliant (ask Dave). The best damned wired modem can’t touch a wired signal for uploading and streaming video. Trust me: I have 5 modems. I don’t learn easily.

I don’t know how these dlink things compare to a direct ethernet connection, but the latter was not a very practical option for me. My Verizon Fios Fart modem brings my signal upstairs, and I’d have to rerun a bunch of ethernet wires back to the basement and up walls… in the case of my main television, there’s not enough crawl space to even accomplish this. Post college I had speakers in every room of the house (including bathroom), but I’ve lost my passion for cable splicing.

So these puppies are $100, plug and work, and do the trick. One small step for ethernet speed, one giant leap for web-television conversion.

P.S. The ethernet-to-TV solutions I’ve seen to date are a friggin’ joke. Glad to have a direct ethernet input, but the interfaces are absolutely retarded. Even TiVo blows for watching streaming media (just to search out a YouTube video is like using a 56K modem to watch a 700K picture). Then again maybe I need to get my TiVo hard wired like this. But the AppleTV is doing fine without a direct connection. Wuz up?

How To Get Popular on YouTube (free eBook, version 2)

I just uploaded version 2 of “How to Get Popular on YouTube Without Any Talent” (a free eBook originally written 2 years ago). Thanks for the feedback on the first one. We’re all still figuring it out, eh?

Nalts doesn’t feel as popular as when he first wrote it, but he’s having fun, dangit. The original motive in publishing this was to help people avoid getting scammed by stupid products or services that promise to boost your YouTube views. Puh-leez.

I’m finalizing “Beyond Viral Video” for Wiley, but that one’s for marketers and agencies… so it’s going to be a real book with a price tag and fancy cover. 62,000 words so far, but necessarily in the right order.

I put “youtube popular” on Scribd and SlideShare because it’s too big to post as PDF here. Use it as you wish, but if you steal it and sell it I’ll punch you.

Small Businesses May Soon Place YouTube InVideo Ads

Thanks to Tim Street and the good folks at NewTeeVee for this gossip alert via GoRumors. Soon, according to a patent filing, you may not need a big budget and advertising agency to place Google/YouTube “InVideo” ads (the ones that pop-up over the bottom 1/5 of the video). Today small folks can buy text ads, but InVideo ads are more captivating obviously.

Self-serve InVideo ads. Better than text overlays or search-result ads, but a bit more expensive and less targeted than paid search. Still, a nice way to reach the tech savvy voracious video consumers without breaking the bank (presumably far less than the $25 CPM that YouTube launched with).

From the patent entry, I’d call it “Powerpoint meets text ads.” You’ll have some color and image options, but no eye-popping flash you might get from an agency.

Try some out. Start with the Nalts inventory.

The Internet Never Forgets: Cap’n Crunch Is NOT the Devil

In further proof that I’ll not likely pass my next new-hire screening, here are two of many prank letters I wrote 17 years ago. The Internet never forgets, and Pat Kutack never forgets to renew his URL dedicated to his now defunct Georgetown University comedy troupe called “Rebels Without Applause.” Mind you, I never had the courage to join the folks on stage. But I video taped their shows (in exchange for an open tab at the bar).

We’ve come full circle haven’t we? Do you think I was kidding about this WillVideoForFood name? I once videotaped a wedding surviving only on olives from the bar.

Here are two letters I shared with Pat during college. They’re prank letters to two cereal manufacturers:

  1. General Mills’ Cinnamon Toast Crunch because I found a cigarette butt in my bowl.
  2. Quaker’s Cap’N Crunch, because the cartoon “icon of the devil” was freaking my kids out. Never mind that I wouldn’t have kids for another 7 years after writing that.

captain crunch loves youHighlights: November 18, 1990. To Quaker: I have two kids and they used to eat Cap’N Crunch all the time. But then once a friend of mine told me that Cap’N Crunch he’s an icon of the devil. I got to noticing that my kids acting realy strange when they eat the food. The last box I bought I won’t let them eat and its hard anyway ,so they shouldn’t eat it. We aren’t buying your cereal anymore because there scared and I am too of it.

In great diplomacy, Quaker didn’t give the devil his due. But a “consumer response specialist” did explain (see below) that the Cap’n artist was Jay Ward, the creator of Rocky the Squirrel and

captain crunch loves you

Bullwinkle the Moose. So that pretty much cleared things up, and I’ve been a fan of Cap’n ever since. Especially peanut butter.

P.S. This brilliant comment from Marquisdejolie: I remember reading about that. Some poor smoker at General Mills was fired despite his vehement protests of innocence. His wife left him, taking the children and everything he owned except a ratty old recreational vehicle. He lived in it down by the river for years, cultivating a wicked bad drinking habit. Then one day, he snapped, parked the RV along the route of a city parade and began shooting at the floats screaming “There’s your butt! There’s your butt!” The sniper was killed in a hail of police fire, but not before he mortally wounded a much beloved math teacher and three school children. It was in all the papers.