Tag Archives: retarded

Hard Being on “Gay Leprechaun” Video

It’s hard being in a gay leprechaun video. Oh- not that hard. The “difficult” hard. Not the seedy part: shooting your part in a SanFran hotel room with filmmaker and actor Greg Benson (Mediocrefilms). Sure it felt like we were shooting a porn, but again- that wasn’t the hard part.

Here’s what’s hard. NOT meeting Matt Sloan and watching him shoot his part. Greg was on the phone with Matt to discuss various lines and shots, but I had no communication with him. Presumably he was reading up on stem cell research in Madison or Wisconsin or a similar state. And I’m a big Sloan fan — from his standup comedy (stewardess: that guy’s not going to use our first-class bathroom is he?) to his better known work as creator and voice of Chad Vader (see series here).

It’s friggin’ hard to co-star in “Gay Leprechaun” (the new “Retarded Policeman”) with a funny bastard like Sloan, especially he’s your BFF and doesn’t know it. You see, Sloan and I developed a parasocial relationship when I watched Sloan’s “Tomato mouth video.” He doesn’t know me, and perhaps has never seen me in a video until this one. But we’re virtual BFFs, damnit.

I wonder if I’ll ever get to squeeze him in person while he’s singing Cher.

Nalts Appears on “The Retarded Policeman”

Oh sweet. I found a bootlegged copy of Naltz (me) on “The Retarded Policeman” by MedlOcre FlLm$ and P0nce. Note how I use obscure charactes to spell this so they’re copyright police don’t find this post. The episode was removed due to a conflict over the ownership of this episode (which was written by ponce’s wonderful brother $cott and produced by Gr@g Ben$0n.

Thank goodness for South African Tube or whatever site this is.

Retarded Policeman “Creative Feud” Kills Show

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In a creative & financial dispute that began early this year, the people behind YouTube’s popular The Retarded Policeman series recently brought their feud to “court of public opinion.” Mediocrefilm‘s Greg Benson created the show with his wife Kim Evey (who produces The Guild, staring Felicia Day), and hired “Ponce” Perry, who stars as the, well, retarded policeman. Benson also hired Ponce’s brother Scott, who appeared in the first episode, and helped write and direct a few episodes, including the one in which I appeared (so it’s been removed).

Here’s the blow-by-blow:

  • The first episode appeared in September 2007. The most-recent posted video, posted last November (2008), was “Lt. Ballsack” and ironically stars Benson getting pulled over by Ponce.
  • In April, the Perry brothers created the Ponceman account.
  • Five of the episodes have been removed (including the one in which I appeared) because Scott participated in the writing or directing. The rest of the episodes, according to Benson, are his.
  • The DVD is still for sale. Get ’em while they last, folks.
  • The Perry brothers first created a video about the feud, and posted details on their blog. They claim there was an agreement between them and Benson: “We had an agreement with mediocrefilms that has not been honored.  Since the beginning of this year we have tried to work things out but, regrettably, we have reached an impasse. We cannot allow our work on the series to be exploited any longer without our original agreement being honored and all of our attempts to “work something out” with mediocrefilms have been fruitless.”
  • Greg Benson responded to the Perry Brother’s claims in this video, and on his blog. Benson said they had no agreement, and that he paid the brothers thousands of dollars.  He said he offered them various compromises, but was ignored when he requested the Perry brothers to propose terms that would satisfy them.
  • Neither is providing specifics of the terms, and whether the Perry brothers had a “work for hire” or revenue-sharing arrangement.

This debate, only recently brought public, was part of the reason I suggested TheStation (The Station is Doomed) will run into a similar snag. Parenthetically, check out thehill88 and brookers, who provided some informally entertaining responses to that video on their superlazerz channel).

Alas, it’s extremely difficult to collaborate on a channel and share YouTube proceeds, because it’s nearly impossible to determine who contributed to a channel’s success… was it the promotion, producing, writing, acting, directing, editing?

This is the first significant and public feud over ownership rights of a web-video show, and that’s maybe the most surprising piece of news.

So how can you reduce the chances you’ll find yourself in a sad, creative/financial snag like these guys? Get something in writing… the more money a channel earns, the more people will feel cheated unless terms are explicit. Is it 50/50 or are the actors simply paid a flat fee and/or some small percentage of revenue?

It’s no secret I’m a big fan of these guys, and I’m saddened to see them disputing, especially in public. Benson’s Mediocrefilms channel, one of the most-subscribed, continues to monetize the bulk of the episodes. Ponceman‘s channel has a fraction of the following with about 28,700 subscribers.

If there was (as the Perry brothers claim) an agreement that wasn’t honored, would they have a recourse in YouTube? Or does the video-sharing site have no responsibility here?

Perhaps a YouTube community member will volunteer their services to arbitrate. The show was brilliantly conceived and executed, and we can only hope it will return in some form. We can dream the impossible dream, right?

Cameos Important to Promoting Content

nalts on retarded policemanSomeone once said that a new blogger stays on his/her own blog, while a seasoned one comments and reads others. The same is true for video — appearing on other people’s videos is as important as making your own. Especially if that creator is more popular, more talented (which is mostly the case for me), or gets featured.

I was poking around via TubeMogul and was pleased to see the episode of “Retarded Policeman” in which I appeared has a 4.79 rating (out of 5), making this YouTube’s top-rated comedy of the week (and among the top of the month). It was also featured in YouTube’s comedy section (thanks YouTube).

This rating is surprisingly higher than The Retarded Policeman’s debut episode, according to TubeMogul, and tied with the recent episode with Michael Buckley (WhatTheBuck). See full honors below in “more.”

I think this tells us that the initial 24-hour period is most vital because it’s when the majority of the comments come in- and mostly from loyalists so they’re positive. Over time, other people find the content and rate the video down (although comment/rate far less frequently). I saw this with Mall Pranks, which has a fairly low rating now that it’s been paraded around on other sites. I’ve often wondered if it would help to turn off comments after the first several hours, although I suspect that would be penalized since the honor/rating is probably a function of views x rating (with an emphasis on the latter).

So what’s this mean? The power of collaborations and cameoss can grow your audience. In the past few days I’ve gone from 96 on the “most subscribed” to 90th, and added several thousand new subscribers (up to nearly 52K). This is due in part to MediocreFilms, part to MrSafety for his cheesy boob shout out. And the appearance in Matt Koval’s  YouTube-homepage-featured video (YouTube in 1985) helped too.

I just shot two clips for collabs last evening. Me laughing and pointing for Spricket24 (I have no idea) and another short clip for Brett the Intern. Hey- forget my own videos. I just want to be like ShayCarl and pop up in everyone else’s like Michael Caine in 1970s movies.

Parenthetically, ratings don’t always translate to views. My recent video impersonating Sarah Palin is the top rated comedy of the day (TubeMogul says it’s a 4.62 rating), but received <20K views (I kinda thought the pro Obama folks would viralinate this one). Comments were mostly kind — except for those that assumed I’m a flaming liberal just because I wanted an excuse to dress up in drag.

Oh now I’m getting obsessed with stats again. I think I’ll go immerse myself back in Gustav coverage.

Continue reading Cameos Important to Promoting Content

Short Visit to West Coast Online-Video Junkee with “LA Blue Balls”

Yeah I went to LA for one day, and it was the biggest tease of my online-video life! I have LA blueballs.

The near climax was getting to meet Punchy from WaverlyFilms, Captain from ClipCritics and my favorite YouTube weblebrities… but not having enough time to play! There was a spontaneous dinner on Wednesday night, and before I had the chance to spill a second beer, Chuck Potter (who is making a film about YouTube) was kind enough to whisk me to LAX to catch the red eye back to PA.

I’ve got to get back to LA soon, and inject myself into all of my favorite webshows as a lowlife extra – I had a near miss with TomBoys and Freddy Nager, with whom I’ve been dying to collaborate. And I didn’t even get to see Mickipedia Micki or my Revver peeps.

I did have a chance to appear in an episode of “The Retarded Policeman.” You’ve never been on a cooler shoot in your life. Ponce (Josh Perry) was so kind and gentle, and far from the insulting character he plays.

I can’t remember if he’s really got Down’s and he’s faking as a cop, or if it’s the other way around. But either way, I’ve gone from fan to superfan. His brother (who appears in episode one) directs him with precision and tough love that only a big brother can provide. In a future episode, The Retarded Policeman insults me, kisses me and then slaps me. The Nalts is,  of course, shocked and trying to explain that I’m a weblebrity who wasn’t drunk driving but “vlogging while driving.” I don’t want to give away anymore of Greg Benson’s hysterical script, but I hope he will indulge me on this sneak preview from the script.

“Oh, I recognize you. You’re the cup of shit from two girls and a cup.”

Comedic gold. Benson (MediocreFilms) is one of the best producers/directors I’ve seen in action, and that’s his voice (straight and falsetto) in TRP’s opening song. The MediocreFilms model is brilliant. It’s bursting with simplicity and humor, and production costs are minimized (they used a foam white board to bounce light on this shoot).

unicorn cowI had never seen Greg’s “Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show” until last night, and I’m hooked. Last night I watched the entire series with my 4-year-old Charlie, who was quick to say “that was a short one” or “we already watched that one.” The perverted humor is subtle enough that a child can watch it without too much brain damage. Whether he’s 4 or 40. See Ron Jeremy’s appearance in this episode, or check out this hysterical one that’s a personal favorite.

Have you ever seen anything that’s as funny as that cutaway of the Unicorn Cow’s sad face when he donates his spleen to make Steak Tartar? Honestly, have you? And have you ever seen Internet-video acting as good as the chef’s (who is that guy, Greg, and when can I appear in costume on the show!?)

This stuff is so good it makes me want to stop making videos and start watching them more.