2100 pages and 50 jotter books, but it got full marks… so the displeased eskimo may be pleased with this work.
Tag Archives: of
Farting Santa and eGuiders Gentleman’s Competition
Check out Edbassmaster’s Farting Santa below… we even get to watch Bob Saget’s reaction.
What’s your favorite video of the week?
I just started to volunteer identify videos for eGuiders (see my profile). My 3 picks:
- http://eguiders.com/video/build-me-up-buttercup-on-ukulele
- http://eguiders.com/video/the-best-of-california-on-with-kassem-g
- http://eguiders.com/video/murdered-with-a-spoon
- I found Mediocrefilm’s Greg Benson‘s picks and I’ll watch anything he favorites EVER based on these. Cried laughing at one of my favorite videos ever (a French journalist who can’t hold back his laughter in a wonderfully awkward moment with some sex-change peeps).
- Obama Girl’s Ben Relles picks? Not as good. Sorry Ben.
- Rhett and Link found a nice duo.
- Director John Landis had a Michael Jackson pick and a nice remix-movie-trailer site.
- Shira Lazar chose a Twitter parody, but I didn’t click it. There’s nothing I haven’t heard.
- Chris Pirillo picked his own video, which is TOTALY cheating.
- I appear occasionally on “This Week in Media” with Tim Street, so I wasn’t surprised to see he had two good picks.
- And where the heck is Daisy Whitney?
So I’m thinking eGuiders will work better if people update their picks, and if there’s an incentive to find really good stuff. So I’d like to publicly encourage eGuiders to determine a way for us to compete. Let the viewers decide if our picks suck or if we become a Ninja eGuider. Just figure out a way (beyond me) to not have it become a popularity contest, because then Relles will kick my ass no matter how dull his picks are.
P.S. How come a “Nalts” search on Google doesn’t produce real-time Twitter results like some other people?
80% Online-Viewers Stop Watching a Frozen (Rebuff) Video
When a video freezes it’s called a “rebuff,” and it happens 8% of each video stream. And when it does, 80% of viewers stop watching.
That’s according to TubeMogul, who track these things from the players it monitors. Tubemogul also allows publishers to push their content to all the major online-video sharing sites for free.
Are they refreshing and coming back? You wish.
No patience. Keep that in mind when you’re making your video too, because we’re willing to bet a pregnant pause has a similar effect.
This is another reason I can’t believe many of my clients still use Quicktime on their website instead of a flash player or YouTube or blip.tv embed.
Halloween Split Video Personality
Oh sure… the dad in me was happy to participate in the Halloween Bash created by my kids… toward the end you’ll see Charlie (age 5) telling me he puked between scenes. Poor Falcon.
But the creepy video guy preferred to collaborate with some of the most frightening special-effects artists on YouTube…. DavideoDesign and Iggy35. Check them out. Shaycarl was supposed to be in this, but after 15 e-mail reminders, we wrote him out.
Debtors Revolt (Ann vs. Bank of America)
Ann is a 46-year-old mother and mental-health professional and self described “conservative liberal, or liberal conservative, closet science nerd, shoe-addict, and beauty product-junkie.” She says she’s met her credit card balance limits and paid routinely, but that didn’t stop Bank of America from jacking up her interest rate to a whooping 30%.
So she took her story to YouTube in a video titled “Debtors Revolt Begins Now,” and it’s the highest-rated video of the week in YouTube’s “non-profit, activism” category. 140,000 people have watched her story, and the video received more than 1,700 positive & controversial comments, and was rated nearly 2,000 times (averaging a 4.73 out of 5). In a follow-up September 11 video, she reacts to the viral response to her video, crediting her viewers and God.
She’s calling it civil disobedience, and many of her video replies indicate people are joining her cause. Dozens of blogs are linking to her video:
- The Market Ticker’s Karl Denninger said “She’s spot-on, in my opinion, and if you, through no fault of your own (you’re NOT a deadbeat) have had this happen to you, then I fully support doing exactly what she is – tell ’em to get stuffed. Do realize that civil disobedience has consequences, but it also brings a huge breath of fresh air into your life!”
- Of course comments vary, including this one posted an hour ago: “Debtors revolt? Are you f’ing kidding me? Is this a parody? You invoke the founding fathers’ ideals and in the same breath bitch about credit usage? Seriously? Don’t want high interest rates? DON’T F’ING USE CREDIT. You don’t have a fundamental right to low interest rates or easy access to credit. You made your bed; lie in it. Enjoy the shitty credit” (by dontfrostthepie).”
- The majority of the comments are supportive, like this one thevickithomas: “Congratulations for taking a stand on the outrageous fees charged by bank run credit card companies. I share the same feelings about my closed Chase card. I join with you and others who are willing to stand up to the inept bank ceo leaders that have not be held accountable for their failed actions. One day they will regret how they have treated customers — when they suddenly realize they need us.”
My two cents? A good reminder that one poorly treated customer can rock a corporation, and it’s somewhat comforting to know that banking has replaced pharmaceuticals for most-despised among Americans. I never much cared for banks.
Schweet & Sad: Advertising Week’s Battle of the Bands
It’s schweet & sad… You’ve got a week to vote for the best band on Advertising Week’s “Battle of the Bands” (see AdvertisingWeek or visit YouTube “Battle of Ad Bands” channel). The assortment of videos, featuring modern Mad Men (and woman), in the past week have seen about 200-500 views per video. Perhaps mostly from fellow agency pals.
Maybe YouTube Business Blog’s pandering “We Salute You” blog post will fetch them another dozen views…
- It’s schweet because some of these bands rawk. Check out Low NY in “Ta-Ra-Ra-Ra” (Kink’s “You Really Got Me”). Or the gritty coolness of Spark’s “The Tape Delay.”
- But it’s sad because one can’t help think of the many talented people who resorted to advertising to make a living, but dream to express their artistic creativity in higher forms than USA Today spreads.
Just watch PHD’s “Say What,” and you get mixed feelings. On one hand, you’re thinking “how cool, this agency has such soul!” But you’re simultaneously transported back to that sad happy hour in 1992 when you were interning at Earl Palmer Brown, and the chief creative guy answered your question, “what’s the best advice you can give me to succeed in advertising.”
And he looks at you, pauses to sip his Jack Daniels, and you can see in his eyes as he instantly releases his dream of being a great painter… like a helium balloon.” Then he says with great conviction, “choose another career… I’m serious.”
Is this a celebration of the fact that we can have it all: lucrative advertising careers and the pursuit of our artistic passions? Or is this a tragic collection of would-be artists who sadly missed the fame bus for lack of talent or timing?
Nalts Trailer
Another attempt at a trailer for my videos, but still not where I want it to be. The challenge is that most of my videos don’t make sense when you only see a few seconds of them, so it’s hard to decide whether to show 20 seconds of just a few, or go rapid fire footage with music… maybe the answer is a blend.
Parody of Billy Bob Thorton’s Radio Flip-Out
I was making $16,000 a year for the Georgetown Courier, when our photographer got news that Pierce Brosnan was shooting Live Wire. The determined photographer convinced the doorman at the Watergate to ask Brosnan if he’d let her take his picture. Then she asked if I wanted to cover the story. What a break! Brosnan’s handlers told me NOT to ask about James Bond, however. At the time, Brosnan’s Remington Steele contract forbid him from being the next Bond, and that was a touchy subject.
How do you think I opened the interview? How can you NOT ask about something so important to him? I did it delicately by asking him why it was so important as to not be discussed. And then he spilled the beans.
I’m reminded of that story when I watched the Billy Bob Thorton video, where his handlers must have insisted to the show’s producers that the topic of Thorton’s film career not come up. How can it NOT come up? Really? Are you now a rock star only, Billy Bob, in your post Angelena days?
But really, should Billy Bob Thorton be blamed for flipping out on Canadian Interviewer (QVT/CBC Radio) Jian Ghomeshi?
No way. It’s the interviewer’s fault. Here’s my experience with the SAME guy (Ghomeshi) last year. He made me so mad I was fixin to kill him with this lawnmower blade. Hmmm.
Footage used with permission by QVT and CRC Radio (I called their media team on commute home and spent hours more than you might think on this stupid video. The tension builds up around 6 minutes in the actual clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJWS6q…
7 Stages of Back Pain
Thanks for the notes inquiring about my back
- My sciatica.
- My spondilolythesis.
- My herniated discs.
- My fractured sacrum.
- My psychosomatic illnesses with a dose of hypochondriacism.
If you have back problems or are considering manifesting your psychological pain via your back, here are the 7 stages of grieving you can expect. If you’re like me, you’ll want to rush through all of these in less than 6 months (my dad spread it out over 10 years but he likes pain because it keeps him humble and spiritual).
I’m not like other people. I don’t like pain. Most of my life is about avoiding pain and seeking pleasure, which I know isn’t healthy after devouring no fewer than 20 self-help books in the past few months. I’m in search for a lasting harmony, tranquility, mental/physical fitness, spirituality, happiness and positivity. Of course, changing one’s mind and daily habits turns out to be a lot more work than taking pills, eating cereal and living on YouTube.
So what can you expect if you’re experiencing back pain, or are scheduled to do so soon?
1. Denial. Back pains are for old people. Pretend not to notice. Oh- is your leg falling asleep while you walk? Strange pain dancing diagonally across your ass? Does your spine feel like a weathered locust shell? Hit snooze on the physical alarm clock and sleep as long as you can.
2. Acceptance: Make a video and mention the symptoms. Someone in the comments will tell you it’s sciatica. Your doctor will confirm it, and stick you into a battery of tests. Make a video celebrating the stupid things you did to your back to get you where you are today… Remember- humor is a coping mechanism.
3. Get Testy: Run through a series of tests including xrays, MRIs, and anal-cavity searches. Hey wait- Dr. Mason had both of his hands on my shoulders during that last test.
4. Bargain: Ignore the realities of the fractured bones, pinched nerves and herniated disks. Go to physical therapy twice a week for two months (get a frozen coffee on the way out instead of paying your co-pay). Then read Dr. Sarno’s book that says it’s all in your mind. Seems you’re repressing anger. Get more depressed now, because in addition to that shooting, stabbing, piercing back pain… you’re also discovering that you’re psychologically weak. Good news- the depression will lead to anxiety, which will in turn make your back feel worse.
5. Despair: Strangers start saying to you, “are you okay?” because your face apparently looks like an Emo dentist in Finland. Drive to work crying like a baby (try the breathy sob like you’re auditioning for Stealing Magnolia). Stop in a park and fall asleep by a lake. Wake up confused and sun burnt (good luck explaining that at work). Remember only the painful memories of life, and project them upon the future as a dark, perpetually pained existence. Picture yourself an old crabby man bitching at his grand kids and forgetting where he put his “oops I shit in my pants” diapers.
6. Epidural. Feel like a pregnant lady (and look like one too, considering the extra lbs you’ve put on) by getting an epidural. Float out feeling like it’s all behind you. Then the anesthesia wears off. Sore that night. But the next day…. ahhhhhhhh. Life returns? You may make a video again. Even the annoying guy at work is only irritating not chalk-board scratching torture. Woah- you can walk, bend over and sleep? Hey- you can even wiggle your hips. Where’d Doctor Mason go?
7. Haven’t Gotten There Yet. But here’s a disgusting picture for you! I took this photo after I ripped a chunk out of my back in a mad rage on Tuesday morning. But then my babysitter‘s dog (Rusty) ran home with it.
Election 2008 Channel News3Online Prank
The next person who sends this to me is going to get a kick in the tea bag or hot pocket.