I always liked Weird News, and used to syndicate it for a local newspaper in Georgetown. That means I pulled it down from the wire, laid it out, and added a photo of a squirrel when necessary. Hey it sounds easy, but those weren’t the desktop publishing days, damnit. I used hot wax.
This guy needs the sugar and caffeine
So here, unrelated to the primary purpose of this blog (whatever that is) are some weird news items I’ve culled from 409 different sources.
A body of a woman was found in a Disney World parking lot. That body, of course, was dead.
We at WillVideoforFood were honored to be granted the first interview with Al, YouTube’s Algorithm Monster. Al makes critical determinations about what videos get seen, which subscribers see what content, what videos are placed as “related video,” and what videos are “spotlighted” throughout the site. He recently took many amateur creators down to 25% of the views they had this summer, effectively dropping their income by the same amount.
Al, YouTube's Algorithm owner, is seen here in his San Bruno Apartment where he has been sad and depressed.
WVFF: How are you, Al?
AL: Al scared and not happy. Very sad.
WVFF: Why?
AL: Al made changes for YouTube bosses to make people stay on YouTube longer. It work. YouTube visits increase in duration by .0005%. But Al accidentally punished amateurs. Now amateurs upset with Al. They come to Al’s swamp with torches.
WVFF: Can’t you change them back?
Al: Al no make backward changes only forward. Evolve not devolve.
WVFF: So how about a forward change that keeps independent content creators steady on their views.
Al: Why Al do that?
WVFF: I don’t know. It seems it would keep independent creators motivated and loyal, and ensure that YouTube has content that can’t be seen on TV or other places.
Al: YouTube masters told me professional content more important. We go professional. No more cats and vloggers. We go “2 and a Half Men.” Me do what told.
WVFF: Al. Do you honestly think YouTube is poised to compete with networks and cable companies? That’s waging war, and it’s not what people want via online video yet.
Al: Al sad. Eyes leaking.
WVFF: Why, Al?
Al: Because you right. But masters at YouTube tell Al what to do. Al get blamed. They hurt Al.
WVFF: Sometimes, Al, you’ve got to show uncommon courage… doing what you know is right, not what people are asking you to do.
Al: Al feel better now. Al make it fair for amateur creators again. Al not want video creators sad like Al.
WVFF: Thanks for your time, Al. Just one final question.
Busted. I’ve got 50/50 odds that you’re one of those people that secretly videotapes others. So I don’t want ANY more shit about my prank antics, okay?
Harris Interactive polled more than 2,000 adults and found that 50% of Americans would use a Smart phone to make a secret video (note wording is “would” not “did”). So what would we videotape?
• 23% – people in embarrassing outfits
• 20% – athletes at a sporting event
• 15% – someone tripping/falling
• 10% – sexy waitress at a restaurant
• 9% – shirtless hunk mowing the neighbor’s lawn
• 7% – cheerleaders
• 7% – boss or coworker sneaking a second doughnut
• 6% – disgusting grooming habits
• 5% – couple kissing or making out
• 8%- other
So you’re a parent making an amateur video, and you don’t have a crew. You want to get the best out of the kids, but you know they’ve got the patience and attention of a fruit fly (a trait they inherited from someone). Here are some tips.
In the sample videos, both promotions, my children were generally not delivering their solo lines with their siblings. It’s too hard to keep them all together for more than 10 minutes, and they make each other laugh. So I shoot wide shots first, then take them one-one-one for individual lines. Then I edit longer lines — using “cutaway” shots so you don’t realize the entire line wasn’t read at once. The cutaways allow you to believe the kids are still gathered together.
Here are some other pointers…
• Have all props ready
• Get tripod and lighting together- best if daylight
• Incent kids (but best not to bribe); give them a time limit (15 min)
• Ask if they cam commit to that time (a verbal yes increases odds). I never like to impose or threaten them.
• Shoot all wide shots first (group ones)
• Stay off tripod for tight shots- allows spontaneity and motion shots
• Give them a cue (go!) and ask them to wait one second
• Feed them lines in tone you want delivered
• Break long lines us, and use cutaway
• If they mess up, encourage, keep rolling, do again
• When they get a line right, praise them (avoid fake praise)
• Allow for improv lines and moments
• When shooting individually, get cutaway shots of them looking in direction of other kids (even if they’ve wandered off)
Spontaneity. You can’t script lines like the horse/car and “old fashioned hot dog” lines in the video below. Most of the time my kids provide me better stuff than I could script. If you select “more” you’ll see the script of a video called “Couch Digging.” In this, the kids keep pulling out stranger things from the couch cushions. I’m too wacked on medicine to patiently shoot this right now, and I’m hoping Katie (age 13) will direct it and I can edit it. I know the best lines and shots will be spontaneous like Grant’s lines in Dr. Who below.
Storyboarding. Don’t know, don’t do it. I barely script.
Karim began to visibly cry when he described the game, but then realized he still had $64 million in cash.
Of the 52.5 percent of active Internet users who have registered with Facebook-competitor Google Plus, only 7 percent have used the service, according to a fake comScore report. But Google Product Manager Jawed Karim said he was confident Google Plus was only beginning, and that his company has bold plans to increase use of the new social-media tool from an average 8 seconds a day to well over a minute.
“We are launching a “shoot the tumbleweed game,” Karim said. “Although my attorneys have advised otherwise, I’d like to describe it as a cross between those killer “shoot the monkey banners” I played as a toddler, but with all of the cute sound effects of Angry Birds,” Karim said, while holding back tears.
It won’t be enough, said Rainbow Rowell of Omaha.com. “Only three of my friends and family have actively started to use Google Plus,” she wrote. “What good it Google Plus if only half of my six friends and family members use it?”
Google Plus "Shoot the Tumbleweed" will mix Flash animation with real photos of the West
Google Plus: Now You Can Ignore Friends While Zoning on a Video
You can now use Google plus to watch a YouTube video live with friends who are remote. Thanks to SFGate and Business Insider for pointing out this new feature.
Now you and up to 9 viewers can watch a YouTube video spontaneously, and see each other via webcam. Hopefully Google Plus will boost that number, and allow for many more to join even if via text only. It’s kinda like Stickam or Blog.tv but there’s no need for anyone to be interesting. You just need to find a video that’s not boring. Good luck.
Here’s how:
Go to Google Plus (you need an account, and here’s my Nalts profile).
Click the “Share” button on any YouTube video (how about Airport Crawling?).
On the right, click link that says “Start a Google Hangout.”
When window launches, use commands to talk (push the green button) or just watch.
I’m not sure how to invite friends, but maybe they find you from your circle jerks.
Use Google Plus' "Hang Out" tool to watch YouTube videos with friends (if you have any)
So we’re visiting the shore yesterday. And I used to refer to the Jersey Shore as the beach covered with needles, based on a news story from years ago.
But yesterday I couldn’t help mistake many girls at Point Pleasant, NJ, as “Snookie.” In fact I kept half-jokingly telling my wife I spotted Snookie, when anyone robust and tan passed me. Little did I suspect that while fetching hotdogs for the kids, I’d overhear someone saying “Snookie’s in there.” I resisted the temptation to walk into the bar, but later felt obliged to determine if it was real or not. It was real. Snookie was in the house.
Indeed I stumbled upon a taping of MTV’s “Jersey Shore” and was able to capture some highlights. A couple times, because the cast moves about the bar, I’d end up in the right/wrong place and have to quickly move. I first shot about a minute of some other cast member (dancing on the bar) I mistook for Snookie.
Only after shooting and editing the footage did I realize (while looking for a thumbnail image) that I had footage of Snookie grabbing some blonde girl’s boobs. So, yeah. That’s a fourth of July video for you.
Anyone recognize the other people? Who’s the guy who shoed me away?
Get ready for the Lawsuits. In a horrible satire at the expense of handicapped people and ice-cream men, the comedy channel “JustForLaughsTV” created this atrocity below. In addition to stigmatizing one-handed people with “claw hands,” it defaces all ice cream people everywhere. And rips off the soundtrack from “Summer Loving” (Grease).
Fortunately my defense (based on parody/satire/free speech and the fact that “hurting someone’s feelings” is not grounds for a lawsuit) will require a simple copy/paste and is solid.
Unfortunately no lawsuit will likely help the poor ice cream man (who happened to be selling ice cream when I was inspired to satire my own fear of ice cream people) will reclaim whatever he claims the video did to him. I make that assumption that because my attempts to remedy it more gentleman-like (non-legal) methods have had no apparent effect — apologizing via phone, removing it, filing DCMA claim on unauthorized posts, apologizing in writing, apologizing in person to him and his family, offering a retraction, offering a donation to charity, offering a nuisance settlement, and apologizing again.
The ice cream man even contacted local Pa. media disparaging me, in what could be considered a calculated act of defamation. But I’m not terribly excited about filing a counter suit because, well, ice cream is too delicious to sue.
She loves cats. She may be faking, or she may be eccentric. But the real question you should ask yourself is… why are we sharing this? It’s like Chris Crocker being dusted off for a revisit.
