Hey You’re Blogging Again, Nalts?

Yeah I’m blogging again. Wanna know why? I’m using MarsEdit, which is Mac software that sits on top my blog. This means I don’t have to use the ass interface of WordPress, which is giving me a white screen on the edit screen… I can only type on the HTML screen which makes it really annoying. And yes I tried turning off all the plugins and upgrading the WordPress software.

It’s amazing how little annoyances can change your morning routine to blog worthless information to a readership of about 9. Nalts006

Can a Search Engine Detect and Rank Comedy? Google Tries.

The newest funny cat on YouTube says No No No No

Look out “I Are Cute Kitten.” There’s a new cat in town, and she says No No No No. And according to research it’s the funniest video out there.
Google is trying to create an algorithm that ranks a video in terms of humor/comedy. Here’s an article about the subject, and here’s a BBC World Service Radio interview I just did live on the topic. Humor is a difficult thing for a computer to detect, but I do think we can collect viewer reactions to draw conclusions.

I spoke last year at the International Society for Humor Studies (see presentation) and the academics and psychologists were having trouble agreeing on the constructs and classifications of humor. It’s a bit like sculpting fog to predict what makes us laugh.
Can Google do it? It is a company made up mostly of engineers. It won’t be an easy or precise task, but I won’t rule it out.
Naturally I DO think that humor can be researched based on human reactions. That’s why (as seen below) I always test my videos behind one-way glass with indepth interviews and focus groups.

The Top 10 “Viral” Videos of 2011 That You Missed

The internets are packed with Jessica Black and Nyan Cat videos that are proclaimed the most “viral” of 2011. But it’s time to take a look at 10 of my favorite videos you probably missed.

What was your favorite video of 2011? Enjoy mine… in no particular order.

10. People of Walmart 2
Jessica Frech gave us a sequel to “People of Walmart,” and it’s just as outrageous and fun as the original.

9. Marcel the Shell With Shoes On
Another rare sequel that is about as good as the original… Marcel was back thanks to the talented Dean Fleischer-Camp.

8. Pet Santa
Mike L. Mayfield topped his animation collection with Pet Santa. Perhaps some “recency bias” in this selection but it’s adorable.

7. Retarded Policeman: Nalts
It’s not a new video, but it returned to the web after a hiatus. And the series by Greg Benson and Ponce returns in 2012.

6. Charles Trippy Wedding
Internet personality sensation Charles Trippy married Ali Speed this fall, and Corey Vidal created this amazing music video.

5. Zoochosis’ “Thanks Smokey”
Zoochosis debuted this summer with a load of semi-pro but low-cost productions. Thanks Smokey is the hypnotic tale of a hiker who sees sheep in a new way.

4. The Scary Snowman
This year was Scary Snowman’s transition from obscurity to popularity, and his beach prank is my favorite.

3. How to Piss in Public
OffthewallTV/LastPictures gave us tips on how to urinate in public.

2. Dog Walks Down Steps On Front Legs
A guilty pleasure, and it’s short enough for the ADHD folks.

1. Ray William Johnson Parody
I’m not sure why I like this, but it’s an animated parody of Ray William Johnson, the richest YouTuber.

2011’s Dumbest Quotes: Read Like Poetry

It’s the dumbest quotes of 2011 read as poetry. Here’s the video, and the copy is below. Read along with the Mrs. and me, why don’t you?

The great poetry and quotes of the United States of America in 2011. Read alone BELOW. Read by Jo and Kevin Nalty (Wifeofnalts and Nalts).

Great American Poetry of 2011

Can’t Process by Charlie Sheen
I don’t have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, ‘I can’t process it’ well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?

Ring Those Bells by Sarah Palin
He who warned, uh, the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringing those bells, and um, makin’ sure as he’s riding his horse through town to send those warning shots and bells that we were going to be sure and we were going to be free, and we were going to be armed.

Intellect Causes Crime by Georgia Prosecutor Patrick H. Head
“I think you could spend an unlimited amount of money on education and it will never eliminate crime. We have crime committed by people that have no respect for human life; we have crimes committed by people who have no respect for property.” He went on to say, “[criminals] will use that education and they will use that intellect in order to commit their crimes.”

Obamagasm by Esquire’s Steven March
“Can we just enjoy Obama for a moment? Before the policy choices have to be weighed and the hard decisions have to be made, can we just take a month or two to contemplate him the way we might contemplate a painting by Vermeer or a guitar lick by the early-seventies Rolling Stones or a Peyton Manning pass or any other astounding, ecstatic human achievement?”

Friday by Rebecca Black
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited
We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after…wards
I don’t want this weekend to end

Goofy Run by Ray William Johnson
What kind of running game is this if you can’t get this goofy ass f’ing alcoholic to run straight. What does he have an inner ear infection? Why are you even on the track team if you run this f’ing goofy? He does in fact run like a Welshman

Journey Through Time by Annoying Orange
Hey dinosaurs. Meteors. Hey Benjamin Franklin, lightening. Hey. Hey, uh, Titanic. I forgot what I was going to say. Oh yeah- Iceberg.

Webcams for Seniors by Bruce and Esther Huffman
K: (Monkey face) Oh look at the monkey.
J: Did I… did it capture? Why didn’t it take it. I put it on capture.
K: That’s a pretty good monkey
J: Hmm… okay wait a minute.
K: I don’t think you.. I don’t think you
J: Okay now. Do it again. What’s it say here. Take a photo snapshot. Okay.
K: Loud Yawn. Hello my darlin hello my baby. Hello my god don’t go.

YouTube for Entrepreneurs & Small Business

Entrepreneurs and small businesses sometimes struggle with YouTube and online-video marketing. So I teamed with ReelSEO to write a guide called “Online Video 101: Small Business.” It’s free, and you won’t get a pesky sales call if you register and download it.

Sorry the blog’s gone a bit grey lately, but I’ve been busy posting a video each day (every time you poop). Caught the virus from Trippy at his wedding. See ’em in this playlist called “Holiday Blitz.”

I Make a Video Everytime You Poop

Years ago, when I was on a YouTube tear, I was posting daily videos. Most people discouraged this behavior, arguing that I should focus on quality not quantity. While both are important, I’ve let frequency suffer in pursuit of the elusive “good” video that people would share and view.

After Trippy’s wedding I decided to return to my old slogan of “making a video everytime you poop.” Here’s the playlist titled “Holiday Blitz.” By dubbing it that, I’m hoping not to pressure myself into another long-term commitment I won’t keep. But for the meanwhile, despite modest views, I’m having fun again.

So anyway that explains the minimalist posting here on the blog.

Nalts makes a video everytime you poop.

First Live Hair Transplant on YouTube

We'll broadcast the procedure twice on Friday, Nov. 18. Join us!

A live hair transplant on YouTube, the world’s largest online-video sharing website…. I’m heading to Florida this morning for Charles Trippy’s wedding and a special event on Friday (Nov. 18). Yes, friends, it’s the first live hair transplant broadcast on YouTube. This is my second (see first) with Hair Restoration Guru Dr. Alan Bauman of Bauman Medical. Here’s the press release and the Nalts YouTube channel has more details about the two live sessions at 10:00 am and 1:00 pm EST. What to expect?

  • See how hair follicles are harvested individually using Dr. Bauman’s Neograft technology.
  • Watch the artistic approach for placing those hundreds and thousands of hairs into the forehead or crown
  • Ask questions via YouTube chat or call in. Hair guru Spencer Kobren will be broadcasting the event and taking calls.
  • Free pony giveaway.

Here’s the press release!

First Live Hair Transplant on YouTube

An Unlikely Form of Entertainment Joins YouTube’s New Lineup:

Internationally Renowned Hair Transplant Surgeon Dr. Alan J. Bauman and YouTube Celebrity Kevin “Nalts” Nalty to Broadcast the First YouTube LIVE Hair Transplant on November 18

 

November 18, 2011

Boca Raton, Florida – Dr. Alan Bauman, a leading hair transplant surgeon and founder of Bauman Medical Group, will perform the first-ever hair transplant broadcast live on YouTube on Friday, November 18. YouTube “Weblebrity” Kevin “Nalts” Nalty, whose videos have been viewed more than 240 million times, will be documented as he receives his second hair transplant with Dr. Bauman on YouTube’s new, highly-anticipated interactive live webcast platform.  The surgery makes for compelling yet unlikely entertainment for the online video giant that is also debuting new live channels from celebrities like Tony Hawk, Madonna, Ashton Kutcher, Shaq and Rainn Wilson.

The event kicks off at approximately 10:00am EST when Dr. Bauman will harvest individual hair follicles from the back of Nalty’s scalp using the Follicular Unit Extraction, or FUE, method.  A second broadcast will take place at approximately 1:00pm EST, where he will show how those follicles are carefully implanted into Nalty’s scalp to produce a permanent, natural hairline. The 1:00pm webcast will also include a live ‘call-in’ Q&A segment hosted by best-selling author and The Bald Truth’s radio talk show host, Spencer Kobren.

Bauman and Nalty already proved the appeal of “behind the scenes” video of a transplant procedure, Dr. Bauman transplanted 1958 follicular units totaling nearly 5,000 hair follicles on Nalty in 2009, and their videos documenting the event have been viewed more than 250,000 times. The same year, Dr. Bauman also participated in a live broadcast with Greg Benson, actor and director with MediocreFilms, which became the most-watched live hair transplant procedure in history, amid a flurry of emails, blog-posts and ‘tweets.’

Bauman and Nalty are anticipating even more response to Friday’s event as consumer interest in hair restoration is higher than ever, and new techniques like NeoGraft FUE, which will be used again for Nalty’s procedure, have made hair transplantation a less invasive and less detectable option for the estimated 100 million American men and women with thinning hair.

What is NeoGraft/FUE?

FUE or Follicular Unit Extraction is an advanced minimally-invasive hair transplant technique which, according to ISHRS statistics, has experienced an exponential increase in volume worldwide over the past several years. FUE eliminates the need for doctors to remove a large strip of skin from the back of the scalp—a procedure known as a linear or strip-harvest—and therefore leaves no linear scar.

The FDA-cleared NeoGraft is a dramatic advancement over previous manual FUE methods which were more time consuming and less accurate.  Years ago, Dr. Bauman became the first Diplomate of the American Board of Hair Restoration Surgery to routinely use NeoGraft device for mechanical FUE which comprises 90% of all transplants he performs today.

“FUE is an extremely effective surgical option for patients that allows for a quicker, more comfortable recovery, less post-op activity restrictions, as well as avoiding the tell-tale linear scar associated with traditional hair transplants,” says Dr. Bauman.  However, patients should keep in mind that a natural FUE hair transplant still requires keen artistry and precision and should be performed by a surgeon with extensive specialized hair transplant training, certifications and experience.

Key Benefits of NeoGraft FUE:

  • Least invasive hair transplant available
  • No ‘tell-tale’ linear scar where the donor hair is harvested
  • Shorter, more comfortable recovery
  • No stitches or staples to be removed
  • Less activity restrictions after surgery
  • Very short haircuts are possible after surgery
  • Transplants more than twice as many hair grafts in a single surgery as the previous manually-performed FUE surgery in the same amount of time

While the benefits of FUE hair transplantation are undeniable, celebrity endorsements help build consumer confidence and awareness.

“My celebrity patients are usually reluctant to reveal their hair restoration work,” says Bauman. “However Nalty and Benson are part of a more open generation of celebrities… or weblebrities. Like ABC ‘Anchorman’ Jim Abath and NBC Dateline’s ‘Follicle Five,’ they’re helping de-stigmatize hair transplants as a viable hair loss treatment, and help people understand that so much has changed with hair transplantation since the days of old ‘hair plugs’ or ‘strip’ scars.”

“The procedure was pretty much pain free, and it’s actually an engaging process that’s more art than science,” says Nalty. “I love sharing it with my viewers because I feel like Fred Rogers doing a tour of a candy shop.”

“Hair loss can be a painful experience for both men and women, but today, scientific advances have made hair loss a treatable condition and hair transplants can now be performed 100% undetectably without the pain, scars and long recovery times that used to be associated with the procedure,” explains Bauman. “I hope viewers can learn from Nalty’s public journey and discover the abundance of resources available from the relatively small number of qualified doctors who specialize in hair loss.”

To see the historic YouTube LIVE broadcast, please visit http://www.youtube.com/nalts at 10am EST and 1pm EST, and watch for updates on http://www.twitter.com/nalts and http://www.twitter.com/dralanbauman. For more information on the Bauman Medical Group, please visit www.baumanmedical.com or call 1-877-BAUMAN-9 or (561) 394-0024.

 

ABOUT DR. ALAN BAUMAN:

Alan J. Bauman, M.D., founder of Bauman Medical Group in Boca Raton, Florida, is a full-time board-certified and internationally renowned hair transplant surgeon whose pioneering work has been featured extensively in the national and international print and television media, such as Newsweek, The New York Times, Cosmo, Vogue, Allure, Men’s Health, Today Show, The Early Show, Good Morning America, Extra, Access Hollywood and Dateline NBC.

 

Dr. Bauman is recognized within the medical profession as top U.S. medical expert on the treatment of hair loss in men and women. A board-certified hair restoration surgeon, Dr. Bauman was the first to demonstrate ‘live’ the FUE method of hair transplantation at the 2003 International Society of Hair Restoration Surgery Orlando Live Surgery Workshop and the first to demonstrate the NeoGraft FUE device at the ISHRS Orlando Live Surgery Workshop in 2010. His practice is divided equally between male and female patients, and Dr. Bauman provides state-of-the-art diagnostic procedures and a multi-therapy approach to the medically treatable condition of hair loss. Dr. Bauman is a member and often a featured speaker at the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine and the International Society of Hair Restoration Surgery Annual Scientific Meetings.

 

Weird News Unrelated to Online-Video Marketing

I always liked Weird News, and used to syndicate it for a local newspaper in Georgetown. That means I pulled it down from the wire, laid it out, and added a photo of a squirrel when necessary. Hey it sounds easy, but those weren’t the desktop publishing days, damnit. I used hot wax.

This guy needs the sugar and caffeine

So here, unrelated to the primary purpose of this blog (whatever that is) are some weird news items I’ve culled from 409 different sources.

  • A body of a woman was found in a Disney World parking lot. That body, of course, was dead.
  • A dead body was found on top a moving truck. It was not Andy Rooney.
  • A new toy, Fijit Fiends, is a best-selling Halloween decoration.
  • 60 Elvises fled from a fire. If I was a pun fan, I’d link to this video. I’m not.
  • A French teacher forces a student to inform her of a bathroom fire in French (The Onion). Allison should defense de fumer, non?
  • Smoking one marijuana joint can give you schizophrenia.
  • A book of bone houses. How comforting to sleep beneath deceased human remains.

Want more of this type of content? 

 

 

 

Interview With Al, YouTube’s Algorithm Monster

We at WillVideoforFood were honored to be granted the first interview with Al, YouTube’s Algorithm Monster. Al makes critical determinations about what videos get seen, which subscribers see what content, what videos are placed as “related video,” and what videos are “spotlighted” throughout the site. He recently took many amateur creators down to 25% of the views they had this summer, effectively dropping their income by the same amount.

Al, YouTube's Algorithm owner, is seen here in his San Bruno Apartment where he has been sad and depressed.

WVFF: How are you, Al?

AL: Al scared and not happy. Very sad.

WVFF: Why?

AL: Al made changes for YouTube bosses to make people stay on YouTube longer. It work. YouTube visits increase in duration by .0005%.  But Al accidentally punished amateurs. Now amateurs upset with Al. They come to Al’s swamp with torches.

WVFF: Can’t you change them back?

Al: Al no make backward changes only forward. Evolve not devolve.

WVFF: So how about a forward change that keeps independent content creators steady on their views.

Al: Why Al do that?

WVFF: I don’t know. It seems it would keep independent creators motivated and loyal, and ensure that YouTube has content that can’t be seen on TV or other places.

Al: YouTube masters told me professional content more important. We go professional. No more cats and vloggers. We go “2 and a Half Men.” Me do what told.

WVFF: Al. Do you honestly think YouTube is poised to compete with networks and cable companies? That’s waging war, and it’s not what people want via online video yet.

Al: Al sad. Eyes leaking.

WVFF: Why, Al?

Al: Because you right. But masters at YouTube tell Al what to do. Al get blamed. They hurt Al.

WVFF: Sometimes, Al, you’ve got to show uncommon courage… doing what you know is right, not what people are asking you to do.

Al: Al feel better now. Al make it fair for amateur creators again. Al not want video creators sad like Al.

WVFF: Thanks for your time, Al. Just one final question.

Al: Yes, Nalts.

WVFF: How do you make changes to the algorthym while you’re in this swamp?

Al: Al only do interviews, poop, and sleep in swamp. Al walk to YouTube campus and bathe. Then Al make program changes.

Busted: I Know What You Videotaped Last Summer

Busted. I’ve got 50/50 odds that you’re one of those people that secretly videotapes others. So I don’t want ANY more shit about my prank antics, okay?

Harris Interactive polled more than 2,000 adults and found that 50% of Americans would use a Smart phone to make a secret video (note wording is “would” not “did”). So what would we videotape?

• 23% – people in embarrassing outfits
• 20% – athletes at a sporting event
• 15% – someone tripping/falling
• 10% – sexy waitress at a restaurant
• 9% – shirtless hunk mowing the neighbor’s lawn
• 7% – cheerleaders
• 7% – boss or coworker sneaking a second doughnut
• 6% – disgusting grooming habits
• 5% – couple kissing or making out
• 8%- other