I haven’t seen a video so begging for satire in ages. It’s a BMW promotion for GINA — a new cloth-like exterior for cars. Who needs pesky, antiquated metal structure on their cars? Metal is so Neandorthal, dude. The first Terminator was big and clunky, but the next ones got smooth and sexy. Metal only gets in the way of fluid movements. Slow patient rivers can tear through mountains.

GINA is about flexibility, says the spokesman who was carefully selected to represent that bearded guy you used to work with… you know, the one that read Walden Pond and attend Corcoron exhibits on the weekends while you rode naked on a moped with your friends? “It’s about context not dogma,” he says. You know, I’m not even sure he said that but it’s quotable.

Let’s brainstorm a parody, okay? I’ll play the the bearded guy and wax philosophically about absolutely nothing to do with the car.

• B-roll may include my car covered in a white sheet or newspaper.
• The perplexed glances of people in public parking lots will be the most essential dynamic.
• Maybe we see my kids making Gina with a glue gun and some of those press-on gem things from the 1970s. What were they called?
• Clearly the new technology begs the question about safety, but the parody glides by the issue. It makes you almost feel stupid for wondering how screwed you’d be to crash a car wearing GINA. It’s too easy to show someone impailed by a guard rail. There has to be a subtly to the accident- like we’re not sure it even happened.

I’ll point back to this post when I’m done the video, so you can get credit for your contributions. But let’s be clear I aint sharing the YouTube revenue. That’s going to pay for the white sheet. 

P.S. BIG thanks to Jan for getting the new WordPress working on this blog! I was totally overwhelmed by the 235 steps required.