Remember the jumping stilts (kangaroo stilts) you may have discovered on YouTube around 2007 (see SMPFilms video)? It’s probably not a good idea to use them to jump over the moving car your dad is driving.
Naturally, as long as we are entertained by wild stunts, we’ll encourage people to take risks. Those risks will come with consequences that are quite horrific. If the kid lives, it would appear paralysis would be possible– if not likely. And that kinda puts my balcony fail in perspective. The next time I trip and fall, I think I’ll utter the extremely unsympathetic statement “now I know how Samuel Koch felt.”
I heard something noteworthy on the radio (a once-common method of listening to someone else’s MP3 collection while they spoke quite often and rang a bicycle bell when they thought they were funny). It seems there’s a government-sanctioned effort to tackle mobile drivers with the same vigilance as “Mothers Against Drunk Drivers” (MADD). I’m hoping the former finds a more aspirational acronym.
It’s called FocusDriven (FUD), and it’s sponsored by your tax dollars via the Department of Transportation. The LA Times article points out that the founding members are those who lost spouses or parents in crashes caused by cell phones. I remember at J&J when there was a ban on DWP because a sales representative died while speaking with her mother. That’s sad, sobering and it changed my habits for hours.
This morning I’m having a Keurig and I discover Uncle Jeff recounting the 5 first miles of his Atlanta commute; he says “It’s a wonder my brain stem didn’t catch fire, or something.”
Hey I’m with you on stopping idiot drivers even if I’m among them. If I turned into a zombie and couldn’t off myself, I’d hope you’d make me proud and put a Red Rider BB-Gun right to my head. Distracted people can be as bad as drunks on the roads. When I’m not home, I sometimes use those roads to transport my offspring. Besides the genetic desire I have to further my species and bloodline, I wouldn’t want a tombstone with a big iPhone decoration on the top.
Then again. What happens if I’m not listening to the radio (don’t ask because I’ve already explained it to you), an audio book, or someone nag me about how hard I am to get in touch with? I’ll tell you what happens…
If my corpus callasum isn’t a raging inferno, I’m reming.
It doesn’t start as a nap, really. It starts with a dreamy gaze into the converging horizon, accompanied by the sweet rhythmic repetition of the road-side bumps designed, ironically, to jar you into wakefulness. Then the eyelids drop for just a moment, which I allow for some necessary liquidation. How long has it been since I blinked? Better catch up on this one. Yes. Just a moment more.
Woahahhhhh. Drool wipe. Look right and left. Adrenaline high. I’m alive. No crash. How long was I out? Am I crazy? Did I fall asleep for a second or ten? Stay focused on the road… stare at that horizon. How long has it been since I blinked?
So we do need some personal freedom, and some stimulation on long drives. But we also need to impose laws on morons that are so intrigued with the latest text message they forgot one swift move of their fingers can bring about a few tons of impact. It’s a balancing act.
If, in the end, I need to stop mobile calls — even handsfree and brainfree ones — then I’ll do so reluctantly. But in return, I want to see a few things on the next episodes of “Mobil Cops”:
Guy with no shirt pulls over his 2010 luxury hybrid, and takes insane dash into adjacent yard. After some shaking-camera action, the suspect is later found by a wheezing officer… hiding under an upside-down plastic toddler pool.
Business woman wobbling while shouting at cop, swearing she was “saying the f’ing Rosary” in her car and that’s why her mouth was moving.
BMW being followed by squad cars as we see one, two, three cell phones get tossed from passenger window into roadside grass.
Review of Mac’s new shuffle with remote-controlled headphones and voice control… this video explores this new device and gives it thumbs down.
I love my Macs, but I don’t care for the companies antiquated marketing style. Hush, hush and then mass marketing. Very 1980s/1990s, and not enough evidence it nurtures or rewards the enthusiastic fan base. Heck, the fact that Mac didn’t embrace HappySlip after her Mac Beautiful song made me think the company lacked basic marketing instincts. For the cost of a computer, Mac could have dazzled her and her audience. A relevant and permanent impression worth more than dozens of ad exposures.
So let’s backup, and see how Mac today became my guinea pig for a social media & marketing experiment: can social media stand between buyers and a new product.
Context: Last night I toiled in my day-job to help improve the way my employer monitors and engages in social-media. This morning I wrote a white paper (proprietary) that addresses the convergence of online-video and social media. And ironically I missed a social-media conference today in NYC. All of this at a time when social media is consuming more of our day than e-mail. (see previous post) That’s a really big deal.
Goal: When the new Mac shuffle came out yesterday, I thought it was time for a test. Our mission: could little old ME rank higher on Google for basic terms related to the new Mac mini iPod Nano shuffle thing with autovoice? Could I possibly outrank Mac, CNet and Mac blogs on search terms people might use to find out of the device sucked or not? Remember Uncle Nalts says Google indexes well-viewed YouTube videos rather high. Certainly easier than buying Google ads perpetually or optimizing a website for 50K.
The Ditched Video Idea: My original plan was to make a skit about the Mac in hopes it would travel like my Mac Air parody (500K views and media pickup)… Alas, none of my ideas struck me as particularly clever. At best, I’d play a frustrated PC designer launching a paperclip size MP3 player with a giant headphone device that allowed people to control it. And he’d be a day late. It just didn’t crack me up, and there was too much to cover and the clock was ticking.
Oh No You Din’t! But my local Mac retailer didn’t even stock the new Shuffle today. Can Mac’s desire for launch secrecy prevent it from trusting distributors with the product immediately? Did Mac’s failure to stock for theimpulse buys actually deprive me of my God-given right to buy more technology I don’t need despite debt?
In a grumpy mood, I decided to vlog a bad review of the Mac Shuffle, and post it to YouTube. I then pretended to be a consumer searching Google for a review of the new device. Sure enough, below are the top three listings. To be fair, the search parameters are rather specific. But since Mac uses the same brand names (Shuffle, Nano) for each new release/generation, it’s hard to find the BRAND new one without adding a unique phrase like “autovoice.” You’ll otherwise get dated results (I’m talking 2005/2007), and I’m not impressed with Google blog search or anything Google is doing to sort with recency emphasis on basic searches.
Here’s something even more interesting (at least to me). Minutes later I couldn’t replicate the results depicted below, and I wonder if it was because my edits to the video’s keywords set it back temporarily?
Yesterday my wife and I were finalizing our information for a financial counselor who will tell us that we’re too deep in debt, not saving enough, and have precious little buffer. So naturally I found myself humming this intro tune all morning. I shot half of this on the way in, and then wrote a little more at lunch and shot the rest on the way home.
I probably should have dumped a lot of it, and made it one show. But I grew too attached to parts that (in retrospect) are a bit slow. So now I have a few more minutes of footage for a sequel tomorrow… I think it will be better because Nalts gets more and more desperate. Trying to give blood, stealing from his courier packages, and driving off without paying for gas.
This video goes in the “it’s funny because it’s true” file. But at least I’m listening to the self-help audio tapes you hear throughout this video. Can you guess which ones they are?