Tag Archives: die

Online Video

Creepy Japanese Robot Children Must Die

10 Comments
your-future-ruler
I will not stop until I’ve tasted the blood of an American

From a news story today, and not “The Onion.” See the videos here if you really want nightmares.

  • The creators of the Child-robot with Biomimetic Body, or CB2, say it’s slowly developing social skills by interacting with humans and watching their facial expressions, mimicking a mother-baby relationship (see full creepy story).
  • “Babies and infants have very, very limited programmes. But they have room to learn more,” said Osaka University Minoru Asada.
  • Asada’s project brings together robotics engineers, brain specialists, psychologists and other experts, and is supported by the state-funded Japan Science and Technology Agency.
  • And he hopes that this little CB2 may lead the way into this brave new world, with the goal to have the robo-kid speaking in basic sentences within about two years, matching the intelligence of a two-year-old child.
  • By 2050, Asada wants a robotic team of football players to be able take on the human World Cup champions — and win.

Seriously, though. Are you kidding me? Am I the only one who has ever watched a science fiction movie? That little bald robot bastard is going to have Asada caged like a gimp in his basement before 2011. And then we know exactly what happens next.

The damned CB2s are our supreme rulers, and they start f’ing multiplying. Then suddenly hiding among HDTVs inside crates arriving to our Eastern shipping ports are little three-fingered Japanese robot children — so bald, pale and innocent. They make us laugh, become popular in social media (‘follow me on Twitter,’ they’ll say with weepy eyes). Then they’ll become friends with our children to recruit our next generation as their slaves.

All I can hope is this race of evil bald Asian robots becomes so intelligent that they develop a time machine- and one of OUR people heist it to return to 2009 and warn Minoru Asada of what he’s starting. And if, before embarking on his time machine mission, this savior happens upon this blog as part of his or her research… please try to convince Asada to turn this around before capping him with a 45 millimeter. He’ll only be replaced by another small, ambitious and well-meaning Japanese researcher.

Naturally, I’m just kidding. I want one of those cute little robots. I heard Madonna is adopting one.

Online Video

I Smell Mean Kitty’s Litter Tray

17 Comments

Okay- I can respect the fact that MrSafety (SMPFilms) has the “top favorited” animal video in history (Mean Kitty). People love cats and rap songs, so the video deserves some love (even if 9 million of the 12 million views are from the same IP address, that happens to belong to MrSafety’s mom).

Don’t get me wrong- it’s not surprising that Mean Kitty’s spinoff channel has attracted a decent following. But the moment Mean Kitty’s channel passes me on YouTube’s most-subscribed list, I think I’m going to have to either go dark or light myself on fire in public.

It’s been a while since I’ve worried about who passed me or who I’ve passed on YouTube’s most-subscribed list. It’s not a very healthy well to evaluate one’s self worth. But as the 85th most subscribed YouTuber I’m going to have to pull a serious stunt to keep from smelling Mean Kitty’s ammonia-scented ass, and even falling off YouTube’s top 100 list.

Any suggestions? Preferably something that doesn’t involve a lot of time or showing my boobs.

I take some solace knowing that I’m still the 12th most viewed YouTube comedian (after KevJumba), and will happily drop when MediocreFilms passes me. It should.

But a relatively new channel about a catrivaling several years and 700 plus videos? Nooooooo! And it doesn’t make it any easier that Cory has left me voicemails taunting this very, very sad reality.

I think I’m about 4 minutes away from a YouTube Reviewed “where are they now?” post.

P.S. This iGoogle YouTube channel widget can bring YouTube a little closer to your iGoogle or other page o’ widgets.

 

Online Video, YouTube

Who Created Nintendo’s Mario: Legitimizing Via Video

6 Comments

Guest blog post by Zack Scott.

otto’s dadAs your popularity on YouTube or other video sites climbs, you’ll notice that more people want to talk to you. This is something you will have to deal with, and how you deal with it can have a drastic effect on both you and your fans (or haters). For example, I try to respond to every message I get. I do this because I feel if someone takes his or her time to send me a personal message, then it is well worth my time to reply. And why not? Is my time so important that I can’t take a few minutes out of my day just to potentially make someone else happy that I responded? Of course not.

zack scott as marioBut I must admit it was a little weird to get a message from someone named Arden Lawrence who claimed to be the original creator of Nintendo’s Mario. I got it right after I made my Amazing Nintendo Facts video.  A lot of things went through my mind. It seemed like it could be a prank or a scam, but could there be some shred of truth behind it? I Googled him, and sure enough, he had made some posts on some Internet sites a few years ago. So I wrote back asking for more details.

My response was due to my sense of duty to help people when they reach out. He didn’t ask for anything except for advice. I basically told him that although I don’t fully believe him, I’m in no position to call him a liar. I said that if he wants his story to be taken seriously though, he has to put a face behind his words.

original mario creator?I had no legal advice to give him, but I did give him the best advice I could. And he took it. Several days ago he posted this video on YouTube, and he’s willing to answer any questions anyone has. Sure, this might be an elaborate prank or scam. Afterall, he has no real tangible evidence. But assuming what he says is true, then why wouldn’t someone turn to YouTube to get his story out? Maybe he should be given the benefit of the doubt. If he’s lying, then people will expose that in due time. But if he’s telling the truth, then maybe this will be the start of something fun?