Nostradamus, Dead Birds & Tips for Pending Apocalypse

I only had to read about one of the batch of dead birds to suspect Notradamus must have predicted this. But alas, it seems we’ve had a few (source: BBC):

  • 400 turtle doves were found dead in Faenza, Italy, in the days after New Year. Turtle doves, of course, refer to the Old and New Testament
  • In Arkansas town of Beebe, on New Year’s Eve, some 3,000 red-winged blackbirds fell to their deaths. These guys and their “iridescent black plumage holds the energies of mysticism and magic.”
  • Just a few days later dozens of jackdaws were found dead in a residential street in Falkoeping, Sweden. The Greeks held that Princes Arne was turned into one of these birds, forever seeking shiny things.

While there are no doubt some rational and scientific explanations, it’s just too easy to see this as an irrefutable apocalyptic warning here… common, people, especially with 2012 approaching.

Dr. No also predicted the BP Oil Spill (Associated Content, Yahoo):

“A great stench will come from Lausanne, but they will not know its origin, they will put out all people from distant places, fire seen in the sky, a foreign nation defeated.”

Famous “Damus” saw the coming of The Man With the Golden Voice (homeless guy), although clearly it wasn’t in his top-10 quotes:

“A man from poverty shall emerge to divine success, and make Kraft voiceovers.” (Okay I took some liberties with the interpretation of that).

NewsyVideo — a certain credible journalistic news source, as evidenced by the authentic news sounds and graphics — provides perspective about “the collective freakout” and the “real story.”

Some free, personally curated video collection for braving the pending imminent apocalypse:

  1. Subscribe to “Survice the Apocalypse,” and be sure to print out relevant posts on nuclear-proof paper ($5.99 a reim at Staples)
  2. Brush up on Zombies basics to prepare for attacks (see “Zombies in Plain English” video).
  3. Take a tip from “Bert the Turtle” and “dock and cover” (see 1950s educational film).
  4. Dawan and Joey can share family tips on emergencies and help you get that 72-hour kit ready.
  5. Irwin Redlener provided a Ted presentation with some nuclear survival tips. Skip ahead to 18 minutes to know where you should be standing relative to the bomb to avoid such uncomfortable side effects as acute radiation, heat, and vaporization. Avoid looking at the light, and get a mile away from the blast in the next 20 minutes.
  6. Don’t sweat the details. Apparently there’s a World to Come (see religious video).

4 Replies to “Nostradamus, Dead Birds & Tips for Pending Apocalypse”

  1. I couldn’t make sense of you ramblings today. Not sure if it’s your writing or my lack of sleep.

    When will you ever learn “common ≠ c’mon”?
    “Survice the Apocalypse” doesn’t make sense either.

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