The Onion Radio news has a message for folks suffering from depression. Seems depression effects “losers” more than “normal” people. Stick around and enjoy Taco Bell’s morning after solution.
16 thoughts on “Depressed? You May Be a Loser (Onion)”
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Seems like I should be depressed, then.
I’ve heard that highly intelligent people suffer disproportionately from depression. Do you think that’s true?
Nah, I’m like THE smartest person ever, no real depression.
Alexis… that’s why you don’t suffer from depression.
I’m not seeing much intelligence here right now. Have you people never learned any basic logic? Your statements were essentially non sequitur.
THAT’S WHY! I would have guessed it was due to being constantly ignored and living in Wisconsin and having a deficiency to vitamin D, but it’s because I’m a loser! Thank you, Nalts. It makes a lot of sense now.
haha. I love the Onion.
it’s the onion
I have to say their take on Bernanke was more than funny it was the truth – http://www.theonion.com/content/news/u_s_economy_grinds_to_halt_as
a routine report before the Senate Finance Committee Tuesday ended with Bernanke said, “Though raising interest rates is unlikely at the moment, the Fed will of course act appropriately if we…if we…” said Bernanke, who then paused for a moment, looked down at his prepared statement, and shook his head in utter disbelief. “You know what? It doesn’t matter. None of this—this so-called ‘money’—really matters at all.”
“It’s just an illusion,” a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. “Just look at it: Meaningless pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Worthless.”
…
“I’ve spent 25 years in this room yelling ‘Buy, buy! Sell, sell!’ and for what?” longtime trader Michael Palermo said. “All I’ve done is move arbitrary designations of wealth from one column to another, wasting my life chasing this unattainable hallucination of wealth.”
“What a cruel cosmic joke,” he added. “I’m going home to hug my daughter.”
I think it’s people with no sense of humor who take themselves too seriously that suffer most from depression. And boys with girl names.
LMAO @ meme!!!
meme,
that makes sense that people with no sense of humor would suffer most from depression,but jim carrey,robbin williams,Terry bradshaw and other seemingly happy/funny people suffer from it too.Life is too weird,all i know is it feels a lot better to laugh than to cry!
^ best video I’ve seen all day tomorrow
Steve
Not to get too serious–because my comment was just me screwing around like I always do–but all of those people you mentioned are extremely driven. It seems like those kind of people also tend to be cursed by severe depression. It’s like, you work and work, you achieve great success, and then there’s this big emptiness. Like “now what?” Or some may work and slave and never get anywhere or fall short, and then there is the feeling of failure.
Maybe the trick is to be driven and ambitious, but remain somewhat detached from the outcome. Like, what you do, or how much success you achieve is somehow separate from how you see yourself.
God, what a stupid comment. I suck.
@8 Hee hee! Well played.
3 years of watching MDJ’s vids and I’m no more depressed than usual. I guess that’s a positive note!
@14
My videos build up a tolerance to depression in the viewer. Three years of watching my stuff should make you emotionally impervious to walking through a real life scene from Saw VI, Jimmer.
Manson is a pussy.
^ or a victim of suicide