Most Americans watch with intrigue about Tiger Woods and his sexual scandals (see this guy’s video claiming Tiger took him to Medieval Times, played with his golf balls and used his wood on him, or join the ratings of his women at Bleacher Reports). But me marketers are more interested in how Tiger Woods sponsors will handle their public affiliations with the philandering golfer.
Tiger is now, of course, the poster child for professional success at all costs. That fits quite well into business-consultant leader Accenture’s core positioning. But how will other brands adapt campaigns?
Fortunately, thanks to WillVideoforFood, some of the planet’s most well-known and trusted brands need not suffer the humiliation of dropping Tiger when he’s down, or face the shame of affiliating with him during his, um, “discretions.”
For no cost, I’ve provided prominent Tiger Woods sponsors with some campaign slogans and adaptions that leverage this media sensation… turning lemons into lemon-ball vodka shots.
- AT&T: “Better US Coverage Than Verizon or Tiger Woods’ Penis.”
- Nike: “Just Do Her. And Her.”
- Accenture: “We Know What it Takes to Pork a Tiger” (see existing ad, soon to replaced with footage of Tiger stumbling out of hotel rooms wearing only socks).
- American Express: “Do you know me in the Biblical sense? Don’t tell my wife.” Also consider “Don’t Leave Home Without It, dark glasses, and a prepaid mobile phone.” Tiger may simply point to his crotch to punch the word “it.”
- Gillete: “The Best a Man Can Get” campaign can pretty much stick with its campaign, and Tiger’s “the only thing that matters is today” line. He’ll be saying that a lot to his wife and family in coming months.
There are certainly well-meaning public relations and advertising professionals convening at this moment to determine how they’ll avoid getting mauled by Tiger’s scandal. And they’re reading consumer-generated media to get sentiment ratings and determine how this disaster is already effecting them.
Give those folks a break and toss them some ideas, huh?