I Broke Twitter

the tweets that killed twitter

“We regret to announce that Twitter is temporarily over capacity,” said David Scheyd, director of communications for Twitter. “Apparently Kevin Nalty (aka Nalts) began Twittering so frequently, our spam bots thought it was a virus and protected itself from a potential compromise.”

Nalty, who tweeted about 48 times in the past several hours, said it was “an accident.”

“I just got a little carried away. I felt lonely and wanted to connect and promote myself shamelessly. Plus I was on a roll with fake articles, fake URLs, poop tweets, and even a public battle with some psycho chick from Jersey,” said Nalty in a faxed statement.

Twitter evil birds flying off with whale carcass
Twitter evil birds flying off with whale carcass

15 Replies to “I Broke Twitter”

  1. hey asswipe I’m NOT Italian. and another thing, bringing up xgobobeans dead dog just to hurt her feelings because you weren’t in that movie is weak. I tolerate a lot of things from people but cruelty is not one of them.

    People with secrets should NEVER make enemies… unlike the ice cream man I wont call a cop if you put me in a video again… I’ll call a lawyer!

  2. @7, yeah…she does! It’s that I’m his gay lover in Texas! All those “business” meetings he had, well they were more like pleasure meetings. He didn’t get let go from his old job because of his Nalts persona either, its cause they found out about us and his double life!!!!

    *kisses* Naltsie!

    (Hey, I was summoned by queen of cheesiness to liven up this joint!) 🙂

  3. On a non-nutty note, my son was just surfing YouTube looking for Hot Wheels related videos, and he happened upon Nalts’ Gorilla Attack Hot Wheels video. I was like, “Oh God, don’t watch that guy, he’s crazy!” j/k It was neat stumbling upon your vid.

  4. I follow you Peter. Oh- wait. I just follow my name. And you use my name. Really I view Twitter as an ego search engine to see what’s being said about me.

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