At last I’ve reached the pinnacle of my dreams. You see, you can find my by searching “Fart” on Google. I’m the second result… Farting in Public.
This is wonderful, and my family is no doubt beaming with pride.
What makes this extra special is that it used to be a nightmare to get my family and friends to find me online.
These are actual conversations:
- Do I type in Nalts into my browser? No- you need a web address.
- How do I get to u toob? It’s actually YouTube… www.youtube.com
- I found youtube but I can’t find you. Right- there are 6500 videos tagged Nalts. I’m only 10 percent of those.
- What? Yeah- you need to go to youtube.com/nalts. You have no idea how to put a backslash, do you?
- Nope. I found one of your videos. Now what? Click the blue hyperlink that says Nalts and you’ll go to my channel page.
- What’s a hyperlink? Never mind- I created a special URL- go to www.kevinnalty.com.
- I thought you said you were Nalts? Yeah- but I thought you’d probably forget kevinnalts.com.
- Oh- KevinNalts.com takes me to YouTube, and that’s your most recent videos? Yes!
- Nope- still doesn’t work. I just see photos. Yeah- those are called thumbnails. You need to click them to activate the video.
- Who’s click? Forget it.
- Wait- I saw a video. I don’t approve of you embarrassing your kids. Well it’s putting food on their table.
Not to niggle, but technically, what is needed is a forward slash. The backslash is used in Windows and DOS pathnames. (Means nothing to an Apple man.)
What if you couldn’t fart?
I was going to say something about hot air, but I used all my good jokes up for the day. Maybe I’ll have something tomorrow.
(panda the real taste of licorice)
The 3rd result that comes up on a Google search is the Wikipedia entry for fart. You’ve got to love Wikipedia:
This article is about the word fart itself. For information on the bodily function of passing intestinal gas (flatus) via the anus, see Flatulence.
I get to the “Forget it” stage much earlier than you do.
I don’t even bother with an explanation… I just fart.
You beat wikipedia; man the Google weighting of YouTube is so high with PageRank.We need to talk.
I wonder if I can rank on the term idiot?
^ All things are possible to those with faith. How’s that bot-making bot coming along?
I have a bot working on the bot-making bot, and I’m frankly about to get it a bot supervisor because of its low output.
^ Why stop there? Get a whole level of middle bot management.
On another subject, heard of Project Eyeborg?
Funny! At least “fart” is easy to spell! I googled “Death Valley Plants” and my site was near the top for that search. Then I googled “Evil Willie” and I was on top. There was even a picture. I’m thinking that themightythor1212 deserves to be at the top of the “Evil Willie” search!!!
Well, this is disturbing. Here are the first three things that come up wihen I goggle “sukatra””
1.Apparently there is an island off of the coast of Yemen called “sukatra”. http://tinyurl.com/7qp7wy
2. A dirct link to my twitter page with all my twitters, even though my page is supposed to be locked so that no one can see them unless I accept their follow request
3. My youtube page
Then it’s followed by pretty much every comment I’ve ever made on your blog.
Uh oh.
that, my friend, is a big deal. Good going.
I, myself, am the second result for my real name. Turns out there is a guy who plays guitar in a band called Pearlene with my first and last name. They are actually pretty good.