Friday’s Lesson: Fake Puking Offends More Than Fake Blood

It’s a parodox, but it’s one of those things we learn about humankind thanks to the “hot spot” insight tool available on YouTube. You see, now we know when people exit our videos relative to the norm of videos of that same lenght. The chart below shows that the “Videogame Violence & Your Children” parody was rather healthy. Until a certain part of the video when there was a fairly steep dropoff.

nalts pukes

  • Was it the blood?
  • Dora the Explorer’s arm getting shot off?
  • The Mario head?
  • The traffic accident in Frogger?

No folks. It was the oatmeal puke that did it. Let that be a lesson to you. Fake blood. No worries. Fake vomit? They’re gone. Or maybe it’s the difference between animation and video?


14 Replies to “Friday’s Lesson: Fake Puking Offends More Than Fake Blood”

  1. awesome.

    too bad I’m not antisocial in my videos, otherwise…

    expletive the audience, next video of mine is ONLY fake puking. maybe a real one.

  2. I wish I had that feature. Apparently, all of the data for my videos is “insufficient”, which is youtube-ese for “Your videos suck, and nobody likes or cares about them, nor will they ever. Please die, you motherf***ing waste of skin.

  3. I thought it was fairly obvious that it was fake. It didn’t even look like you were vomiting; it looked like you were shoving oatmeal into your mouth. Some people just have weak stomachs, I guess.

  4. What? LOL, that was my favorite part! Especially Charlie’s non-reaction to it. “That was just oatmeal” or something. I think I even put that in the comment section cause it was the funniest part to me.

    Now don’t get me wrong…have it had been real? You would have had to move over cause my projectile of internal, undigested material would have definitely overridden yours! I’m a chain vomiter! (maryland, is it vomitor or vomiter?) Nasty!

    Speaking of vomit, someone must be sick ridden at home. I’ve never seen so many comment replies in a long time! :o)

  5. That doesn’t look right to me. Clearly, the the drop off started before you puked. You are also assuming people watching have their finger on the trigger at the ready. I’ve just returned from watching a Zack Scott video and it took me at least three seconds to hit the back button. This one needs to go back to the lab for further analysis.

  6. That was the crappiest fake vomit I’ve ever seen. You could have at least cooked that damn stuff and then let it dribble out of your mouth. That would have been grosser, if not more realistic.

    I think it’s more likely that people closed out the video when you appeared on the screen. I mean, up til then it was all kinds of cool computer graphics, – blood, gusts, mario’s head, etc., all in video game format. Then it was you. That may have been sufficiently shocking to make people exit rather hastily.

    I was gonna say “sufficiently revolting” but some vestige of humanity and kindness made me change it. Where the fuck did that come from?

    And I mean that iin the nicest way possible.

    Actually I did enjoy the video and it’s obvious somebody put a hell of a lot of work into it. Okay, that’s the best you’re gonna get from me today.

    Bite me.

  7. This tool is fascinating. I just used it to analyze my second most viewed video (the cheese video) and let me give you some interesting stats:

    52% of views are coming from related video
    most people are dropping off within the first five seconds of the video
    People in montana love it

    who knew?

  8. Well now I’m just annoyed. NO ONE in kazakhstan has watched this kid’s cheese video. NO ONE. And he was born there!!!!!

    I’m gonna start putting kazakhstan in the tags.

    It’s pretty popular in south africa and egypt, however.

  9. Here’s an interesting little factoid.

    My “149 ofnalts usernames” video that I made way back in 2007? Most popular country? Vatican. Wonder why. Tell brotherofnalts he’s not as anonymous as he thinks he is.

    by the way, in case you haven’t already figured it out . . . you’ve created a monster with this post.

  10. 79% of viewers of my “Kitty Fight” video got there from related searches. Oddly enough, most of them got there from your “I are cute kitty” video. Thanks, Nalts!

  11. Being a child of a medical professional, and now married to a nurse with a whole extended family of nurses and other medical professionals, seeing bodily ejections from others doesn’t even phase me. I found your video humorous.

    Of course, throwing up myself DOES bother me. When I was about 4 or 5, I was violently ill, and the vomiting traumatized me. It was the last time I had thrown up in my life, up until about a month ago, when I got sicker than I’ve ever been and threw up for the first time in well over two decades. That was so traumatic that I hope never to do it again.

    Is it possible that people just got bored with the video. I mean we are an ADD society, and that video was a little bi…hey, what’s that?


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