YouTube Announces New Toll-Free Support Line: 1-800-Eat-Shit

I’ve long accepted that YouTube doesn’t do technical support, and that technical glitches may exist for extensive periods. It’s virtually a monopoly here, folks. What do you expect?

You expect a messaging system with a terrible user experience, you expect your last video’s thumbnail to override your profile picture. You expect the video to upload when it feels like it… or not upload at all. It really just depends on the mood.

So I find it rather fascinating that Information Week’s Google blog tears YouTube a new asshole in this post. Well maybe I’m being dramatic, but I felt like cursing in the post to support the PG-13 title.

Eric Zeman writes that yesterday’s YouTube blog post can be summarized as “check every other resource possible before attempting to reach out to us.”

Common, Eric. Think about the Discipline of Market Leaders. Google is about product excellence not operational efficiency and customer service. And it’s free. So if the product is cool, it cost nothing, and works the majority of the time… then we gotta “love the one we’re with.”

Or call the North American Live Technical Support (NALTS) hotline. Live video support for frustated YouTube users. Live support 24×7 and free!

Author: Nalts

Hi. I'm Nalts.

38 thoughts on “YouTube Announces New Toll-Free Support Line: 1-800-Eat-Shit”

  1. If I’m not mistaken I believe you stole that telephone number joke in the blog title from jason. If I am incorrect, I heartily apologize.

    NOT.

  2. New? They gave me that number two years ago when I had my first 500 error.

    And They should be proud to know that today, 39,435,495 “500 internal server” errors later, their tech support is every bit as good as it was then!

    Gotta love it.

  3. What? Nalts is running a phone sex line on YouTube? Huh? I’ve been outside tightening the cables on my diesel pickup’s starter. Shocking stuff. The starter cable, I mean. Ever had your arms up a diesel engine’s ass up to you elbows from underneath the truck? It’s enough to give you claustrophobia. No, not Kevin’s caulrophobia. Claustrophobia.

    Look at me. I can spell.

  4. @8: “Look at me. I can spell.”

    At least SOMEBODY around here can spell. Seriously, Nalts, why do you use “Common” when you mean “Come on”? They don’t even sound the same. You really are trying to drive me crazy, aren’t you?

  5. that title made me laugh because if fits so well.

    After reading, I believe you hit the nail on the head, You Tube’s motto is, “It’s free, so stfu!”

    Now, the question is what is the psychology behind You Tube’s utter lack of support?

    1. They are just stupid.
    2. They are all high.
    4. They want to appear poor and unorganized to avoid more law suits.
    3. This will eventually get so frustrating you will shout out at the top of your lungs, “I’ll pay for this service if they just fix this damn crap!”

    my money’s on #3.

  6. @9

    This is what you get when you go off and abandon us for two months. The Spelling Nazi is a full time job.

    donut leef us liek dat agin or wee wil hunt yue down wit hour kiyboreds an bete yue til yue blede. Or well just spel rilly bad rite thar in frunt of yue, laffing histerikally wile yue screme in frustatrion.

  7. May I propose a compromise position between Nalts’ slangy but improper “common” (which is pronounced com’-mun) and Marilyn’s proper but formal “come on” (which is pronounced cum-on’).

    The correct dialect form of the expression is “cmon” which is pronounced “cmon.” One syllable.

    You’re welcome

  8. @16: Technically, it is a contraction and should be spelled as “c’mon”.

    Sorry, But I had to say that.

    @13: Click on my name to see what I’ve been doing with all my “free” time recently.

  9. @17 Congrats on the side business! Can you make one long enough from Texas to PA so I can wrap it around Nalts’ neck just to keep him in check every now and then? You know, like when he’s met his whoring quota for the week, hasn’t made a video in awhile or maybe even when he mis-spells words! I’ll just give it a little tug, I promise! (recruiting my tug-O-war peeps as I write)

  10. Isn’t making beaded lanyards what they make you do when they send you to the nut house?

    Where exactly have you been these last few months marilyn? Tell us the truth now, dear. You’re among friends. We won’t mock you.

  11. Marilyn, where’s my bead chain? Nalts hasn’t made a video in like 3 days! This is a perfect example of how I would use it!

    *TUG, TUG*

    OMG, I’m reminding myself of when I first encountered Nalts…

    “I’m addicted to your videos! heheheheh”
    “Nalts, Nalts, he summersaults…hehehehehe”
    “I need my Nalts fix. heheheheeh”
    “Video everytime you poop. hehehehehehe”

    Now it’s like, “Where’s my damn video sucka?” LOL! or ROFL as you would say.

    Must be off filming another episode of Knocked Up or Horned Up or whatever it’s called.

    :o)

  12. @24

    It’s called “Sucked Up”. Geez, get it right.

    And I heard Nalts is retiring from online video, in favor of skydiving. From what I hear his last video announcing this is coming out in a few days.

    But that’s just the highly contagious rumor which anyone who comes here and doesn’t know of our bantering is bound to believe and send to all their friends. Who knows what the real truth is!

  13. @24 “Sucked Up” Is that the episode where Professor Klein gets his student pregnant!? Sorry about the error. Won’t happen again.

    Yeah, I heard that too. ***NALTS IS GIVING UP ONLINE VIDEO*** You hear that folks? (if this website is anything like my work, this will be around the web in like .2845 milli-seconds flat! You forgot one inportant detail thougth scmj…it’s NAKED skydiving. It’s the new fad and you know Nalts just had to join the band wagon! Nalts likes to feel his peter flapping in between his legs at high altitudes. Something about bringing him back to nature or some bullcrap.

    Click the link to see a cute picture of Nalts in his pink parachute.

    :o)

  14. @17 – Technically, Marilyn, both an “o” and an “e” are omitted, so it should not be c’mon, it should be c’m’on.

    I find that untenable.

  15. I would be glad to make anyone who wants one a beaded lanyard, but one that would stretch from Texas to PA would cost too much.

    Seriously, sukatra, I’ve really just been very busy. I make a new lanyard at least every other night, and I’m taking a couple of in-services after school, plus my Odyssey of the Mind club is starting back up again. I promise I’ll try to be around more often.

    Besides, Nalts needs somebody to check his spelling for him.

    And, BTW Nalts, what’s YOUR excuse for not posting more videos?

  16. @27: You are TECHNICALLY correct, however the acceptable spelling of the word is “c’mon”, as evidenced by this entry at dictionary.com:

    c’mon
    /kmɒn, kəˈmɒn/
    Informal.
    contraction of come on. come (defs. 41e, f).

    BTW, I have recently started a “Word of the Day” email group at work (remember; I work in a middle school) because I found out at lunch the other day that some of my colleagues do not have very extensive vocabularies. So you guys aren’t the only ones I annoy with my command of the English language. 🙂

  17. @31: I don’t mean to be a nit-picker, it’s just that I have this thing for the English language (and I’m not even an English teacher!).

    I’ll go hide again now.

  18. I always knew it was true. Marilyn has a boner for the english language. Hee hee hee. I love saying boner. The only thing funnier than saying “boner” is saying “marilyn” and “boner” in the same sentence.

    Marilyn has a boner
    Marilyn has a boner
    Marilyn has a boner!!!

    Notice how I managed to spell your name right every time in this post? Won’t happen again soon!

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