25 Replies to “Nalts on the Retarded Policeman”

  1. Since this blog has turned into a constant roast … Nalts being on the Retarded Policeman was probably the highlight of his life and career.
    Proud moments

  2. Yeah, I agree with Matt. I don’t much care for WhattheBuck, but his was funnier.

    And you are not much of an actor.

    But I still like you better than Corey.

  3. Poor Josh. First Cory, then this? What must he put up with!

    I think I’m going to extract the kiss from the video and make it my wallpaper though. It was totally the best part of the video.

    Well, the slap was good too.

  4. I never! Apples and Oranges! And I am quite the fan of anything that Mediocre Films makes. I’m jealous that you even had the opportunity to work with them. (wipes little brown particles from nose).

    I’ll send you that collab script tommorrow. Hey do you think you can get Ponce to look at it???

  5. This is probably the best day of your life, huh?

    Well, I was in a featured video once where I said “Because”. So, you aren’t the only guy who does cool things.

  6. Nalts i thought it was great for sure. The kissing bit was a trifle gay, but what the heck you gotta suffer for your art.

    When you say about the UK and US version of the Office, I remember when the US version first came on over here (UK) being a big office fan i was looking forward to it. I watched it and thought this is awful a bad copy of a legendary series, but strangely after a few more views to clarify to myself it’s that bad, i grew to really, really like it and thought it was pretty neat.

    Then when I saw a rerun of a UK office i thought that was crap and thought kinda the same as when i first saw the US version, had i become temporarily Americanised, I dunno, its like they both can’t exist on the same side of Aceness at the same time. Weird.

  7. I can totally picture the episode I would do with The Retarded Policeman:
    He has pulled my pickup truck over. Me and my dog are in the cab. My sister is passed out in the pickup bed. The dog is frothing at the mouth and trying to nip at the policeman through my open window. An eiree Incompetech country music soundtrack is playing. The retarded policeman opens his mouth to start his schtick but I don’t give him too much room to talk.

    “Sorry I was speeding, officer. You see, my momma set the house afire again and wandered off getting runned over by a durned old Amtrak train. The hobos told me. Then my dog here, she starts frothin’. Never seed nuthin like that afore. But I digress. I got to thinkin’ and I thought it was a good time to relocate my sister back there (pointing to the body in the pickup bed) out the burning house and somewhere’s more comfortable. Like the swamp. Bayou country. Sasquatch lives there. And some other kinfolk. I don’t know if I’ve got enough diesel in the truck to make it ta Uncertain and back and sure wouldn’t turn down any money you could pony up ta the kitty, ya know? Not that I ever begged for money, even when I was homeless living on the mean streets of L.A. running callgirls and bumfighting for a livin’. No sir. It’s just that my army disability check got lost in the mail again and those sons a bitches over at the V.A. keep tellin’ me I don’t exist. Least that’s the reason they don’t send my expedited Emergency Disabled Veteran Assistance money I applied for 3 years ago. ”

    The retarded policemen gets a line but I interrupt him with

    “Ya sure look familiar to me, officer. You got a buncha brothers and sisters in the Marshall police department?”

  8. I think that the North East Texas Bayou’s are going to be hard to find in SE LA. But hey that whole concept is transferable to Southern California. Heck just film it near La Brea. The cast of characters would fit right in. Worked for the Beverly Hillbillys. 😉

  9. I enjoyed it a lot. And Nalt’s acting was tolerable (better than most of YouTube) until the mark my words line, then it’s like “dude, no.” But it’s forgivable and still hilarious.

    Best part:

    “Did you pull me over just to harass me?”


  10. Oh come on now Nalts, you didn’t think we would let you off the hook for your ‘Shakespearean trained’ bragging did you?

  11. Actually, he did come off as mildly Shakespearean in the “mark my words” line. That’s the problem – people don’t talk like Shakespeare wrote.


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