Nalts on the Retarded Policeman

August 29, 2008

Yey! I’m on the Retarded Policeman today!

Tagged as: cop, cory, downs, LA, mediocre, mediocre films, mrsafety, Nalts, policeman, ponce, retarded, smpfilms

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Matt August 29, 2008 at 1:02 pm: Sorry Nalts, but the one with Buck was better.
2 jischinger August 29, 2008 at 1:04 pm: Since this blog has turned into a constant roast … Nalts being on the Retarded Policeman was probably the highlight of his life and career.
Proud moments
3 Babysitterofnalts August 29, 2008 at 1:30 pm: You totally tapped that, didn’t you?
You and Ponce probably did it for hours. No wonder your back hurt so much.

Poor Ponce…
4 Marilyn August 29, 2008 at 1:35 pm: Yeah, I agree with Matt. I don’t much care for WhattheBuck, but his was funnier.

And you are not much of an actor.

But I still like you better than Corey.
5 xjasongarciax August 29, 2008 at 1:52 pm: )
6 somecallmejim August 29, 2008 at 2:45 pm: Poor Josh. First Cory, then this? What must he put up with!

I think I’m going to extract the kiss from the video and make it my wallpaper though. It was totally the best part of the video.

Well, the slap was good too.
7 JimmerSD August 29, 2008 at 3:23 pm: You and Mr Safety are quite the item with all that slap and tickle. Byyeee!!!
8 Nalts August 29, 2008 at 3:25 pm: Comparing my episode with Buckley’s is like comparing the UK and US version of The Office, kids!
9 JimmerSD August 29, 2008 at 3:34 pm: I never! Apples and Oranges! And I am quite the fan of anything that Mediocre Films makes. I’m jealous that you even had the opportunity to work with them. (wipes little brown particles from nose).

I’ll send you that collab script tommorrow. Hey do you think you can get Ponce to look at it???
10 NutCheese August 29, 2008 at 3:53 pm: The sexual tension between the 3 of you on there was out of control. So is Cory a bottom?
11 Reubnick August 29, 2008 at 5:22 pm: This is probably the best day of your life, huh?

Well, I was in a featured video once where I said “Because”. So, you aren’t the only guy who does cool things.
12 brindle16 August 29, 2008 at 5:40 pm: I agree with Matt and Marilyn, buck’s was better, even though I could care less for his show.
13 Davideo August 29, 2008 at 5:45 pm: Nalts i thought it was great for sure. The kissing bit was a trifle gay, but what the heck you gotta suffer for your art.

When you say about the UK and US version of the Office, I remember when the US version first came on over here (UK) being a big office fan i was looking forward to it. I watched it and thought this is awful a bad copy of a legendary series, but strangely after a few more views to clarify to myself it’s that bad, i grew to really, really like it and thought it was pretty neat.

Then when I saw a rerun of a UK office i thought that was crap and thought kinda the same as when i first saw the US version, had i become temporarily Americanised, I dunno, its like they both can’t exist on the same side of Aceness at the same time. Weird.
14 marquis August 29, 2008 at 6:26 pm: I can totally picture the episode I would do with The Retarded Policeman:
He has pulled my pickup truck over. Me and my dog are in the cab. My sister is passed out in the pickup bed. The dog is frothing at the mouth and trying to nip at the policeman through my open window. An eiree Incompetech country music soundtrack is playing. The retarded policeman opens his mouth to start his schtick but I don’t give him too much room to talk.

“Sorry I was speeding, officer. You see, my momma set the house afire again and wandered off getting runned over by a durned old Amtrak train. The hobos told me. Then my dog here, she starts frothin’. Never seed nuthin like that afore. But I digress. I got to thinkin’ and I thought it was a good time to relocate my sister back there (pointing to the body in the pickup bed) out the burning house and somewhere’s more comfortable. Like the swamp. Bayou country. Sasquatch lives there. And some other kinfolk. I don’t know if I’ve got enough diesel in the truck to make it ta Uncertain and back and sure wouldn’t turn down any money you could pony up ta the kitty, ya know? Not that I ever begged for money, even when I was homeless living on the mean streets of L.A. running callgirls and bumfighting for a livin’. No sir. It’s just that my army disability check got lost in the mail again and those sons a bitches over at the V.A. keep tellin’ me I don’t exist. Least that’s the reason they don’t send my expedited Emergency Disabled Veteran Assistance money I applied for 3 years ago. ”

The retarded policemen gets a line but I interrupt him with

“Ya sure look familiar to me, officer. You got a buncha brothers and sisters in the Marshall police department?”
15 JimmerSD August 29, 2008 at 6:34 pm: I think that the North East Texas Bayou’s are going to be hard to find in SE LA. But hey that whole concept is transferable to Southern California. Heck just film it near La Brea. The cast of characters would fit right in. Worked for the Beverly Hillbillys.
16 marquisdejolie August 29, 2008 at 6:47 pm: @15
They’d play hell getting me back out there, jimmer. Not getting baited out to LaLa easily. Not after that 118 hours on the train I donated to that last film project:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=7C7A9545D71733A9
17 jischinger August 29, 2008 at 8:22 pm: I have the urge now to sell car insurance
18 DahliaK August 29, 2008 at 10:43 pm: Well, I thought it was pretty good. Five stars.
19 DahliaK August 29, 2008 at 10:44 pm: Retarded Policeman is about the most un-PC thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
20 sukatra August 30, 2008 at 1:08 am: That was awesome, but it would have been so much better if Ponce had slipped you some tongue.
21 marquisdejolie August 30, 2008 at 4:05 am: Cop stories? yeah, I’ve got cop stories. Retarded cop stories. Only mine are nonfiction:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8XSvX8vnWY&fmt=18
22 Jake Leonard - Politics & YouTube In Review August 30, 2008 at 11:16 am: that’s funny as hell
23 Peter Coffin August 30, 2008 at 7:07 pm: I enjoyed it a lot. And Nalt’s acting was tolerable (better than most of YouTube) until the mark my words line, then it’s like “dude, no.” But it’s forgivable and still hilarious.

Best part:

“Did you pull me over just to harass me?”

“Apparently.”
24 Matt August 30, 2008 at 8:55 pm: Oh come on now Nalts, you didn’t think we would let you off the hook for your ‘Shakespearean trained’ bragging did you?
25 Peter Coffin August 31, 2008 at 5:50 am: Actually, he did come off as mildly Shakespearean in the “mark my words” line. That’s the problem – people don’t talk like Shakespeare wrote.