Also, I wanted to give you some shit about the whole “i try to make a video every day.” Since when??? Totally falling down on the job, buddy. Plus you’re making it harder and harder for me to leave decent comments. I’m not getting enough practice.

Freakin’ blueberry in your shit? How the hell do you spot a blueberry in your crap? Did you, like, stand up, bend down and examine your load? Or when you were wiping, did you look at the paper and see that you had just wiped a berry out of your bung-hole?

You ever take a crap, and then you sit there a while, and then you wipe, and it was, like, such a clean shit that you don’t really need to–so you’re like “wow, that was awesome!”-and then you get up to flush, and there’s no freakin’ turd? And you’re like “What the fuck? Did I shit or not? Damn, I was sitting so long I forgot.” Then you theorize that the turd most have been so long and torpedo shaped and aerodynamic that it just sliced through the water and disappeared down the pipe. Maybe it’s just me.