I haven’t seen a video so begging for satire in ages. It’s a BMW promotion for GINA — a new cloth-like exterior for cars. Who needs pesky, antiquated metal structure on their cars? Metal is so Neandorthal, dude. The first Terminator was big and clunky, but the next ones got smooth and sexy. Metal only gets in the way of fluid movements. Slow patient rivers can tear through mountains.
GINA is about flexibility, says the spokesman who was carefully selected to represent that bearded guy you used to work with… you know, the one that read Walden Pond and attend Corcoron exhibits on the weekends while you rode naked on a moped with your friends? “It’s about context not dogma,” he says. You know, I’m not even sure he said that but it’s quotable.
Let’s brainstorm a parody, okay? I’ll play the the bearded guy and wax philosophically about absolutely nothing to do with the car.
- B-roll may include my car covered in a white sheet or newspaper.
- The perplexed glances of people in public parking lots will be the most essential dynamic.
- Maybe we see my kids making Gina with a glue gun and some of those press-on gem things from the 1970s. What were they called?
- Clearly the new technology begs the question about safety, but the parody glides by the issue. It makes you almost feel stupid for wondering how screwed you’d be to crash a car wearing GINA. It’s too easy to show someone impailed by a guard rail. There has to be a subtly to the accident- like we’re not sure it even happened.
I’ll point back to this post when I’m done the video, so you can get credit for your contributions. But let’s be clear I aint sharing the YouTube revenue. That’s going to pay for the white sheet.
P.S. BIG thanks to Jan for getting the new WordPress working on this blog! I was totally overwhelmed by the 235 steps required.
hahahahaha
ohh, he does say “context over dogma”. And your right, it begs a parody.
Somewhere in there you need to explain something simple… I like how he spelled out what an acronym is for us… and talked like he was talking to third graders.
How many days do you think it will take for GINA to get irreparably dirty?
Oh. And he was kind enough to explain “geometry”. lol.
I’m sorry, if I got the cash to plonk down for a BMW then it had better be shiny and black and not have that crap on it.
Use that lamborghini you drove in another video. Or some other convertible. Then have a hummer looming in the rearview mirror and the next shot is you continuing to talk with tire tracks painted vertically across your face. Or with a simulated broken neck, if you have the computer skills to put your head at a 90 degree angle to your neck.
That Gina acronym made no sense to me. It didn’t even appear to address all the letters in Gina. How about Geometrical INspiration pulled out of your Ass.
Plus until I saw that guy’s face i thought he sounded like martin scorcese. In fact I thought “how the hell did they get scorcese to do this video for them?”
That’s all I got.
For GINA, use Innovation instead of inspiration.
Or come up with an entirely new acronym: IFGIC. ifgic. Meaning “I flunked geometry in college”
Or GINA – Geometry Is Not my Area of expertise
You could use aluminum foil instead of a sheet as a new twist on the old GINA concept and say it has great reflective properties in the summer to keep the car cooler, and when it becomes impossible to keep it on the car you can use it to make a giant pot roast.
For the perplexed pedestrian part. Ask them questions like.
“As driver are you surprised to learn that this new biodegradable car can get over 100 miles per gallon?”
“Would you say this is a treasure to the worlds environment and earths last hope?”.
If they so No just say “Well I would” or “Well the people at (Some made up car company name)” did. Also make up a lot of random statistics about how great the car is.
Just ask them some loaded question in which they feel compelled to lie and give a positive response.
For the kids working on the car. You should be talking about the car and the kids should be goofing off behind you and then you yell at them to get back to work.
Idk all I can think of.
Is it just me or did the guy seem like he wanted to unzip his pants right there and start masturbating?
I like nutcheese’s idea for your parody.
This reminds me of a time in the nineties when I was driving my 29-foot ’76 Pontiac Catalina in L.A.— was making a right hand turn and a flashy little sports car rear-ended me. I jumped out, looked at the minor 2 inch scratch on my back bumper, looked over at the sports car which was nearly totaled with thousands of dollars worth of damage, pointed to my scratch and yelled at the driver, “It’s okay. It’s only a scratch,” and drove away singing “Ironman.”
Nalts… you have to HAVE TO have to… have someone run out of toilet paper and rip off part of the fender as a replacement.
If I can help in any video-oriented way, let me know.
yea! form vs function. don’t you hate these kind of commercials in such a shitty economy?
What do I know about making a car? Well, the first thing the engineers do is grab a starving artist off the street to produce a model; fueling them with plenty of cigarettes, high octane coffee and cheetos. I know by the time they get the model to scale they use a very slow drying clay; more like a plasticine for the body mold. Tho I think play doe would be more fitting here. For the unibody construction I see chicken wire secured with green twisty-ties, surrounded by multi colored play doe covered with a skin of saran wrap or aluminum foil. Tacky glue to seal the ends; which never really works, but makes for high comedy and a chance to play with glue, along with tons of scotch tape. Though, when all is said and done we know safety is really the important issue theses days, so you can’t go wrong with a car wrapped securely in duct tape, it’s so flexible and strong.
Now, to show strength and safety, dropping each one say, the distance from the roof to the ground, I’d go with the duct tape every time. But, for water viscosity… say the car accidentally fell into the backyard pool? Your saran wrap would probably fair better, and just in case you drive the car onto your neighbors new charcoal king super gas grill or into a towering inferno the aluminum foil is your best bet – however, for the price, a roll of tightly wound duct tape is hard to beat in almost any of these situations. Of course, laying all three, which it probably what the basic chemistry composition is of the ginaTM, with a few tweaks to the molecules and selected fibers from recently retired olympic runner’s sweaty steroid spandex, you can’t go wrong.
ps. you’re welcome 🙂
Lay off the crack, jischinger.
it’s the tacky glue!
good stuff good stuff
OMG THIS IS THE MOST HYSTERICAL THREAD EVER. I almost peed on myself 3 times and have only had 2 ounces of coffee so far.
Couple of things:
1) You’re thinking of the BeDazzler (the machine that sticks fake gems on stuff)
2) The idea of your kids covering some 1980s K-Car in an some old bedsheets and rhinestones and putting a “BMW” logo on the hood is hilarious. Them finsihing off the BMW logo out of BeDazzler jewels on the hood would be sweet 😉
3) Once they’re done, while you’re talking cut to people doing typical “cloth” things to the car – painting it, toweling off during a sweaty run, blowing their nose, cleaning up spills.
4) End scene could be car completely encased in blankets (including windows) starting off and driving straight at a telephone pole.
“It’s about context, not dogma”…
Nice to collaborate comedically with you again, if only for a minute! We should do this more than once every 13 years 😉
Nalts, I’m bringing you a present to yotube. Depends.
OMG! I wish I would have watched the video before reading the comments…I literally lol’d!
Nalts, you definitely need to give your speech about “Flexxon” (cause it’s all about being flexible, right?) in a pair of spandex shorts with a huge sock bulge protruding from your groin!
Then interview people about being adaptive and flexible while you try to put one leg over your head like one of those contortionist people do while asking questions like, “Are you comfortable enough for a skin-tight cloth material surrounding your fuel-injected turbine thruster!”
some how I think the above would be funnier if the sock was made more to look like a boom boom, maybe a couple of socks
Ha, jishchinger! A BOOM BOOM STICK! I like it!
Nalts just don’t make any references to it having a SHORT-throw shifter! No need to mention that!
BMW= Bad Material Wrap :o)
You can’t run the car through a standard car wash. It’s dry clean only. The wash and wear car is still in development.
Oh! If you want to change the color just pop the skin into your clothes washer with some dye and there you go! The big mistake would be if someone leaves a pen in the washer too. Or a white car skin with a bright red pair of underwear.
Tie Dyed cars are a possibility!
Shampoo-Rinse-Repeat